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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27661544">A Dangerous Thing</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/viridianeye/pseuds/viridianeye'>viridianeye</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto (Anime) RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drunk Sakura, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Lemon, Mildly Dubious Consent, Orochimaru But Not Nearly As Diabolical, Porn With Plot, Post-Shippuden Timeline, Post-War, Pre-Sarada, Yamanaka Ino/Sai - Freeform, orosaku</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:08:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>26,005</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27661544</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/viridianeye/pseuds/viridianeye</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Drunken Sakura is a dangerous thing.</p><p>Or, in which Ino's caffeinated homebrew sake sends Sakura spiraling into the most unexpected relationship she could imagine.</p><p>Lemon.  Boruto-timeline version of Orochimaru x Sakura, post-4th war before Boruto/his friends are grown up.<br/>Obligatory warning: If you hate this pairing/the concept of it, do not read this work.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Haruno Sakura &amp; Orochimaru, Haruno Sakura/Orochimaru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>151</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>3/3/21 Update - I am still working on all of my ao3 works, including this one.  My life has been madness with a lot of huge changes, and I've been writing in-between the storms.  Thank you to everyone who has left kudos/comments/bookmarks/subscriptions.  It makes me happy in a time where those little moments of joy really help.  Also, I am really enjoying seeing the various ideas presented by you guys, and I keep every piece of feedback in mind as I continue to work on this piece.  It helps inspire me to keep going!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Now this is the good stuff.”</p>
<p>Ino slammed the sake jug down on the bar counter, setting aside the bag she had used to sneak its contents into the bar.  She threw back the rest of the cheap sake in her glass and then poured from the slightly cracked white jug into it.  A milky white liquid sloshed out; it gave off an acrid tang that made Sakura wrinkle her nose where she sat next to Ino.  “What the hell is that, Pig?  And why did you have to sneak that in here…”  She cast a dubious glance around them, but they were in their own bubble amidst the raucous and vibrant atmosphere of the small bar.</p>
<p>“It’s my homebrew special sake.”  Ino’s icy blue eyes glittered beneath her thick layer of black mascara as she shoved Sakura’s glass toward her.  Sakura’s gloved fingers wrapped around it and she swallowed the last sip of the sake left in it before handing the glass to Ino, who immediately poured in several finger’s worth of her homebrew alcohol.  Sakura reached out to her with sweat pearling on her brow.  “Pig, not so much!”</p>
<p>The grin on Ino’s lip-glossed mouth was decidedly wicked as she handed Sakura the generously filled tumbler, the hard glint in her stare making it clear that there was no choice involved; only demand.  “Ugh, you’re going to kill me with a single sip of this crap…” Sakura took the glass, green eyes peering into the cloudy contents.  When its odd tang stung her nostrils she set it on the counter with a shake of her head.  “No way.  Absolutely no way.”</p>
<p>“It’s not crap,” Ino protested, and she pushed the glass back toward Sakura with a practiced pout.  “You’re insulting an old, secret, and very good Yamanaka family recipe.  I made it myself and you promised you would drink it if you lost that bet earlier.”</p>
<p>Sakura gave a groan at the slight glisten of Ino’s eyes, knowing she couldn’t bring herself to upset her over refusing the drink, and her stomach lurched with the thought of what she was about to consume.  She sighed as she settled her hand back around the glass and lifted it back toward her lips, and she shot Ino a glare.  “You’re lucky I like you, Ino-pig.  I’ll drink your damn sake.”  She braced herself as Ino grabbed her own glass, and they held their glasses by their mouths in unison.  “If you run off with Sai in the middle of tonight, though, I’ll kick your ass.”</p>
<p>“Same to you, Forehead.”  Ino’s grin was the perfect opposite of Sakura’s frown as their drinks met their lips and they threw back a swallow.  At the burning feel of the strange sake homebrew going down her throat, Sakura thoroughly regretted ever gambling with Ino.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Two hours in, and Ino had caught Sai’s eye from across the bar.  She was already dragging him out of the front doors as Sakura noticed, stumbling after them in her drunken anger with full intent to make good of her earlier threat and kick Ino for running off -- but by the time she made it out into the night air, Sai had scooped Ino up and disappeared into the dark.  “Kuso,” Sakura cursed, and she leaned back against the side of the cheap dark wood of the bar doors.  Her head spun and throbbed.  She had another glass of Ino’s homebrew sake in her hand, and she considered it as her thoughts swirled through the glass she clutched tightly.  <em>Life is boring, empty, and meaningless,</em> she determined, <em>and if this terrible sake can take me away from that fact, then it’s worth the hangover.</em>  She threw back the rest of the cloudy drink as she swerved back into the boisterous bar on her own.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>As Sakura strode clumsily through the dark back toward her table, she caught the slight flash of something gold at the other end of the bar.</p>
<p>At first, she thought nothing of it, collapsing back in her stool with a slouch.  She drowned her dizzy mind moodily into her now-empty glass; she let herself spin with the circles that cascaded pleasantly through her head as her stomach stirred and churned with heat and drink.  The pleasantness began to sour into a bitterness that she knew too well, and Sakura closed her eyes as she hung her head.  Her drunkenness had kept it at bay but she had known it would make its return regardless.</p>
<p>Her body still ached from her long shift at the hospital doing surgeries for over fourteen hours.  She had been pulling sometimes twenty-hour long shifts at the hospital, cat-napping between surgeries in the on-call bunks, throwing herself body and soul at her work with nearly every waking moment.  It had been purely chance that she had come across Ino during one of her increasingly rare trips out beyond the hospital or her apartment, and soon enough she had found herself roped into gambling and then drinking.</p>
<p>Sakura knew she didn’t regret a single moment spent with Ino regardless of how dizzy and sick she felt with the drinks.  She had helped her to forget her unhappiness, if just for a few hours.</p>
<p>She opened her eyes to stare again at her glass as the sounds of the bar loudened between her ears.  There was a rakish jazz tune playing that was on the objective end of terrible; most of the other sounds of the bar were the laughs and loud, slurred rambling and shouting of other patrons.  This was a civilian dive bar; where Sakura had no choice in the matter of whether or not she and Ino would be drinking tonight, she did get to choose where, and considering how exhausted as well as down she felt, she didn’t want to run into anyone she knew.  This bar was her getaway from the world on her particularly bad days.</p>
<p>Sakura felt the exhaustion and drink exacerbating her unhappiness instead of abating it now, and she felt her thoughts spin faster.  <em>Lonely.</em></p>
<p>The word lingered.  It was what spattered bitterness throughout the corners and curves of her mind and sunk deeply into her with dark stains alongside several other unwelcome words.  <em>Lonely.  Empty.  Bored…</em></p>
<p>Sakura picked up the glass, sipping it again to taste the last drops of the acrid homebrew sake.  She desperately needed a distraction, an escape from the bitterness that rose like bile up her throat.  She didn’t want to think about how she worked longer and longer shifts to escape the empty darkness that awaited her at home.  She didn’t want to think about how finally moving on from her interest in Sasuke had freed her and then crushed her with the deeper realization of her loneliness.  She didn’t want to think about how the end of the war had given her nothing left to do with herself but work; she wanted to be happy with just healing others, paying no mind to herself, but her life was catching up to her in sharp tandem.</p>
<p>There was another glint in the corner of her eye, and Sakura turned her head, green eyes searching the din of the bar.  It had poked her instincts this time like the sixth-sense feel of someone’s eyes upon her and she seized the distraction with greedy mental fingers.  Her peripheral vision swirled with her intoxication as she blearily scrutinized the dim bar for what had caught her interest, and when she was about to set down her glass and surrender completely to her bitterness, she saw it again.</p>
<p>Now that she was facing the direction it was coming from, she noticed it as twin pin-points of pure yellow-gold; small in the distance and slightly aglow in the darkness.  It disappeared again over the heads and chair backs and general lighthearted madness of the crowded stools and booths.  Abruptly Sakura shoved aside her glass on the table and got to her feet.  </p>
<p>She made her way across the bar toward where she had seen the flash of gold, keeping her focus on it.  Her hand trailed along the wall as she swayed between people and through the din, music and laughter melting through her ears and warming her head as she stopped before a shadowed booth.  Whatever she had seen was immersed in a darkness she could not see through, just beyond the table that was the final obstacle between them.  Sakura narrowed her eyes into the dark, reaching out a gloved hand with a determination to satisfy her curiosity.  She was too drunk to question her actions or to be embarrassed when her fingertips brushed something cool and smooth.</p>
<p>“What are you doing?”  A silky, low voice chuckled in the depths of the booth.  “Sakura-chan?  You’re so drunk.”</p>
<p>Sakura scowled when whatever she had touched pulled back further into the dark and away from her reaching hand, her fingers plopping down unceremoniously onto the table’s edge where she stood.  Her blurred mind did not register the voice as she leaned forward over the table toward the dark.  “Golden… thing.  Why’re you backing away?  Don’t be rude.”  Her words were slurred and stumbling; there was a pause before the voice spoke again, this time with amusement in his tone.  “<em>Golden thing?</em>  Have you somehow forgotten my name?”</p>
<p>Sakura thudded into the booth with a <em>hmmph.</em>  Her annoyance at his unspoken rejection of her reaching hand had set off an already tumultuous snowball of frustrations within her and she felt it beginning to roll with her dizzy stomach as she reached out again, her determination unfailing as her fingers moved further into the dark booth.  This time she found something that was as silky as the texture of the voice that had spoken.  Her fingers glided across its smoothness as it was revealed in a dark sienna shaft of the bar’s light.  It was a long lock of black hair, and she squinted down at it with increasing annoyance.  “Pretty hair.”  She examined it with intense focus.  “Whaddid you <em>do</em> to make this so soft?  I have used… <em>every</em> kind of conditioner, and none of them make my hair this nice.”</p>
<p>Cool white fingers appeared over hers, prying her grip gently from the hair and retreating back into the darkness.  Sakura stared blindly at the dark as the voice spoke again.  “You don’t want to direct your… drunkenness at me, Sakura-chan.  Go back to whatever you were doing before.”</p>
<p>Her annoyance bulked with her earlier frustration and Sakura’s scowl deepened as she turned fully toward the person in the dark of the booth.  “Whadd<em>you</em> know about what I want?  I can do what I please.”  She threw her weight toward the dark in her attempt to scoot down the seat, drunkenly misjudging the right amount of momentum to use, and she thunked bodily against the shadow in the booth.  There was a low <em>oof </em>when she had shoved herself up against a slender side.  Sakura paid him no mind as she took a handful of the black hair strands again and inspected it, peeling off her gloves.  “Smells like limes n’ something else,” she slurred as she felt the strands between her fingers, and she felt a tentative arm descend lightly around her shoulders; at the feel of his hand curling around her shoulder, Sakura jerked her head to look up at the person she had pressed herself beside.</p>
<p>Two piercing eyes watched her face, less than an arm’s length up from her face in the darkness.  Her stomach dropped to her feet as she could see every detail of the golden eyes that had caught her attention now.  There was an iridescence in the ochre-yellow hues of his distinct snake-irises, flecks of light catching and reflecting in their depths as she stared into them.  She was mesmerized and not listening at all as his velvet voice purred against her.  “Do you recognize me now that you’ve thrown yourself on me?”</p>
<p>“Golden,” she said softly, letting go of the strands of black hair in her fingers as her attention fully shifted to his gaze.  She watched the way the dim light glittered in his unusual eyes, completely capturing her focus.  She was noticing now how his irises glowed faintly in the darkness.</p>
<p>Her thoughts plunked against her dizziness, alarmed instincts repeating over and over beneath the easy circles that the alcohol drew in her head.  His name that she unconsciously recognized was obscured by the stirring of the drinks in her stomach and the heat in her skin.  All Sakura was thinking about beyond the warm spinning of her intoxication was that it felt good to hear and to feel a warm presence so close to her after so long.   She breathed in unmistakeable male pheromones with the warm smells of sake and eucalyptus, a blend of scents that was unusual but not unpleasant, causing heat to pool in her lower stomach.  Her body whirred with the need to pull him closer and immerse herself, to escape the bitterness that chased the tail-end of her thoughts.</p>
<p>Sakura’s vision tunneled as her hands reached up, threading through the soft black hair that surrounded his intense golden eyes, and she tugged him down to her as she pressed her lips against his.</p>
<p>“Wh---”</p>
<p>Her kiss was soft, insistent, half-sloppy; his cool lips were still and unresponsive beneath hers for a long moment.  Sakura could taste the slight tang of sake and of something sweet; she pulled ever closer, breathing in his skin - but she was halted as his white hands gripped her by the shoulders and shoved her away from him abruptly.</p>
<p>Sakura fell back on the rough leather seat, her brain spinning wildly from the shove.  She squinted up at him in the dark, her narrowed green gaze catching again on his flashing golden eyes as he leaned over where she was sprawled back on the booth.  When his pale face was illuminated dimly in the dark orange light, Sakura’s mind finally picked up his name from the thundering of her blood.</p>
<p>“Sakura-chan.  Did you not hear me earlier?”  Orochimaru blinked at her from the darkness where he sat with narrowed eyes and slightly flared, slitted pupils.</p>
<p>She reached out to him blindly, feeling her frustration rise again.  She did not like that he had shoved her away.  Regardless of the twisting of her gut or the clanging of her thoughts, her pride and her stubbornness would not allow him to reject her.</p>
<p>Sakura grasped him by the collar of his dark teal tunic, tugging him sharply toward her.  Orochimaru frowned down at her as she returned her hands to his face, transfixed by the glittering gold of his eyes.  His name clicked oddly in her brain, and she felt both revilement and frustration as well as a burgeoning heat in her core.  She was drawn to his iridescent stare, and she wanted to taste again that sweetness; her body demanded more as she breathed him in.</p>
<p>“You’ll regret this later if you keep going,” Orochimaru warned again, hands covering hers where she had grabbed his collar.  His words were a statement rather than a threat, and she ignored his half-hearted protest as she pulled him down to her.</p>
<p>Sakura continued to ignore the alarmed pulsing of her instincts and listened to the pull of her body as her impatient tug brought Orochimaru all the way down to where she laid back on the booth seat, aligning his body with hers.  One of her hands touched his angular cheekbone lightly as she kissed him again, and he didn’t stop her this time.  She opened her eyes, drowning in gold, and one of her legs slid up across the booth and against his side; she felt his arms encircle her waist as he began to respond to her lips pressing insistently against his.</p>
<p>Sakura could taste the sweetness on his lips more thoroughly now as he allowed her to explore him.  Her mouth opened as she tilted her head.  Orochimaru’s wide lips meshed with hers as she tasted his warm breath, the tang of sake and a hint of matcha registering in her brain; when she felt his cool hand trail up her side, she gave a low groan.  “Don’t blame me when you sober up later,” he murmured as his lips slipped from hers and he placed a lingering kiss beneath her ear.  Her thoughts still plunked in the back of her mind, but the sensations of his weight pressed against her, the taste of him on her lips, the growl in his voice, and the feel of his cool hands drove back her doubts and invoked her desires.  The combinations of sights and sounds and scents spun with her intoxication and Sakura revelled in the absence of her bitterness as she enjoyed Orochimaru’s slow touches, her skin searing where he dragged his lips along her throat and up against her jaw.</p>
<p>With increasing impatience, Sakura turned her face and captured his lips again.  Her hands gripped his sides and she brought both legs up to clamp around his waist, adjusting so she was lying completely flat on the long booth seat.  She heard a heavy scrape as Orochimaru pushed away the table, allowing them more room in the dark booth, and her heart thudded wildly against her chest as the simple action made her blood burn.  Her legs clamped again around his waist as he settled his weight atop her completely, and he drew back enough to study her wide green eyes a moment, lips pulling back from hers.</p>
<p>As she beheld his hale and shadow-crossed face above hers, a brief memory flickered through Sakura’s mind, and her expression as a whole smoldered mauve as a dark idea danced on the threshold of her thoughts.  Her lack of inhibitions whatsoever allowed the idea to avoid the filtration of her subconscious and she voiced her piecemeal thoughts aloud, her voice slurred and soft as her breath fell hotly across his hovering face.  “Long…” Sakura squinted into his slitted golden eyes, feeling something curl in her gut as she dared ask.  “Don’t you… you have a super long…” She swallowed.  “Tongue?”</p>
<p>Orochimaru’s golden eyes flared wide as he processed her question, her words so slurred that it took him a moment to translate her words until they connected and he tilted his head.  There was a playful yet ominous look in his darkening golden eyes, and Sakura unconsciously squeezed her legs where they were clamped around his sides.  His silky voice had taken on a crooning tone as he replied, and he rose a single dark eyebrow as his pupils contracted and his cheeks darkened.  “What are you really asking, Sakura-chan?”</p>
<p>The warmth in her belly and the sensations of his weight pressed against her made Sakura give completely into her bodily desires.  She gained a stab of bravery that made the words ghost past her lips as she gave Orochimaru a wicked grin.  “Show it to me.”</p>
<p>His answering smile was wider and much more sinister than hers.  “As you wish.”  Sakura yipped as a cloud of smoke puffed around them and they were teleported into a dark apartment. Her back fell upon a bed as the golden eyes hovered over hers; quick hands pulled aside her vest, and his cool touch slid down her sides as he eased down her shorts. “Wh…” Sakura arched her back, thoughts buzzing and then imploding as his long tongue traveled down her neck and slowly down the sensitive skin of her chest. He explored the curves of her breasts, the shapes of her nipples, listening to her moans as he continued downward.</p>
<p>“Ah---AH!” His pointed tongue laved over her panties and she cried out, her hands threading through the silky strands of his long black hair. She groaned then as her underwear were cast aside and he delved his tongue into her. He gave her several undulations, watching the way she panted and cried out in pleasure; then he pulled back, and she relaxed into the sheets, her hands growing more gentle on his hair. “Well, now you’ve been shown,” he purred, and she glowered back at him, spinning mind focused on the heat that had pooled between her legs. “Why’d you stop?”</p>
<p>His golden snake eyes widened at her sharp question, and he chuckled as he lowered his mouth to her again, smiling as she groaned at the warm, wet feel of his tongue exploring her once more. He pressed it deep into her, laving it around her inner walls, and she gave an almost inhuman cry of pleasure at the way his wicked tongue felt like it was carving her out and searing pleasure from every microscopic pore of her. She stretched out her legs around his sides, her body trembling violently as he began to flick his tongue at speed in and out of her. He curled his tongue in a way that hit her inner pleasure center as well as her pearl and she convulsed as she came.</p>
<p>Then he rose from between her legs, licking his lips clean; he dragged his mouth up her skin as he did earlier.  In her feverish pleasure Sakura reached out and tugged at his clothing. With ease he threw aside his shirt and rope belt; she pushed at his pants with sweaty fingers, and he paused above her. Golden eyes searched green, and in her drunken passion she reached up impatiently to her lover and pulled him down to her; convinced by her kiss, he kicked away his pants and pressed his weight against her. In the spinning of her dizziness and how she was reeling from her comedown of pleasure, Sakura felt her stubborn streak smolder into a passionate, angry desire for more.  She reached out and gripped his pale, bared shoulders; with a huff she lurched her weight up and flipped him onto his back, pressing him against the bed with her weight. “More,” she hissed as she kissed him drunkenly, and she felt his cool fingers push through her hair as he smiled against her mouth. “So demanding, Sakura-chan.” She reached down and felt him, and he gasped as she sunk down and sheathed him with herself without warning. “Ah---Sakura----”</p>
<p>He narrowed his flaring slitted eyes at her, sweat gleaming on his skin, and she gave him a vicious roll of her hips against his.  Orochimaru’s slim hands pressed into her sides with a sharp exhale as Sakura reached out and gripped the side of the mattress, steadying her spinning mind.  She glowered into his flashing golden eyes and she thrust again, feeling him stretch her, and she closed her eyes as she reveled in the feeling of his length filling her.  Her other hand reached up and splayed along his slender white shoulder; she felt his hands travel up from her hips to her sides as he pulled her back down to her.  

Something twisted in her chest at the way he kissed her then; his lips were slow and teasing on hers.  Sakura frowned into his kiss as she rolled her hips again, running her fingers up his sides with lightly scraping nails. Sakura smirked at his responding hiss; he bodily flipped her once more, and she squeaked as he began to press into her at an angry pace. They panted together as Orochimaru increased his rhythm, and they moved together, sweat drenching the sheets as the moonlight shone on their entwined skins through the windows above the bed. As she met his eyes, she stared, her spinning mind getting lost to the fury between them and the way the silver light glinted in his iridescent irises as she surrendered to the pleasure both then and hours into the night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. mysteries</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sakura awoke in a tangle of sheets, her face pressed into cool white skin. Her head was pounding with a splitting headache and her body was sore all over. Giving a sigh, she stretched out an arm and stiffened as it fell upon the body she was realizing she was curled up against.</p><p>
  <em>Oh no.</em>
</p><p>She blinked, focusing her vision, and her eyes traced along the smooth curve of shoulder that her nose had been pressed into. She pulled back; silky black hair fell along the smooth and leanly muscled skin.</p><p><em>So I slept with someone.</em> She lifted her arm carefully from the man’s side and rubbed her throbbing temples. <em>Who the hell is it?</em></p><p>Sakura probed her body with her chakra before she further investigated that question. She was sore all over. Whatever she and the mystery man had done, they had done just about everything, and she felt good regardless of her splitting headache and groggy mind. She used a touch of her chakra and eased away the headache and soreness; with its absence, she would be able to think. <em>Damn Ino and her ‘special sake.’ I knew it would go wrong. So who the hell did I…</em></p><p>There was a stirring in the sheets; she shot her eyes to him as his long and slim body beside her stretched, and she watched a long white arm lift into the air as he rolled over. The arm curled around her middle and she found herself pulled into his side as a face pressed into her shoulder and he gave a deep snore, black hair completely obscuring his face.</p><p><em>He’s so pale.</em> Sakura narrowed her eyes at the lean and very white body against hers. <em>Pale and scarred and very naked. As pale as Sai. But his hair is far too long to be Sai, thank goodness.</em> Sakura’s tentative hand reached over and her fingers threaded through the silky black strands. <em>Such nice hair.</em> She cursed at the rising warm thoughts of continuing the night’s activities they had apparently done; her body hummed pleasantly.</p><p>A foggy memory invaded her thoughts and she thought she recalled saying something about his silky hair to the mystery man last night. Sakura flushed with embarrassment. <em>Kami, I’m such an idiot when I’m drunk.</em></p><p>She then parted the hair from his face with careful fingers, dreading to see who she would discover, and a sleepy golden snake eye beneath a dark brow was watching her as she pushed the hair away.</p><p>“AHGH!” Sakura shoved away from Orochimaru, scrambling back on the sheets and tugging the covers to her naked body as she stared with huge eyes at him. He gave her a lazy smile, stretching his arms up and behind his head. “I see you finally sobered up.”</p><p>“I slept with YOU?” Sakura’s face was tight with horror. “<em>You?!</em>”</p><p>Orochimaru gave a shrug, his long hair drifting across his shoulders. “If you remember, you insisted.”</p><p>She buried her face in her hands as she remembered the way her drunken self had scooted into the dark booth and kissed him, and flashes of what they had done after began to bubble up in her head. “Oh <em>no</em>.”</p><p>His chuckle made her bury her face in her hands deeper as she groaned. “I totally initiated this too. <em>Kuso</em>… I’m such an idiot…”</p><p>“Well, make no apologies on my behalf.” Orochimaru sat up with a yawn and then affixed her with a glinting gaze and half-smile. “I didn’t mind.”</p><p>With another vivid curse Sakura shuddered. “Don’t you start. You speak of this to no one, okay? This didn’t happen.”</p><p>“Sure.” His chuckle made her ears burn, and she got to her feet, hugging the sheet tightly around herself as she awkwardly looked around at what looked like an average small apartment. “Do you… do you have a shower?...”</p><p>Orochimaru pointed straight ahead at an open door near the end of the bed, amused eyes watching as she slouched in shame and ran with bare feet into the bathroom and shut the door. Then she ran back out, avoiding his gaze as she picked up her scattered clothes from the floor and ran back in.</p><p> </p><p>“Ino,” she hissed into her phone as she dropped the sheet around her feet, looking at herself in the mirror. “I’m going to <em>absolutely kill you</em>. What did you put into that sake?!”</p><p>There was a giddy laugh on the other end and Sakura grumbled as she searched around the simple bathroom for some sort of comb. She opened a drawer and found several sleek black combs, shoving away the memories of touching his long silky hair as she removed one and raked it through her mussed pink locks. “Who did you sleep with?!” came Ino’s squeal as she glared at herself in the mirror, ripping through the knots in her hair.</p><p>“Never you mind,” she hissed back as she accidentally ripped out a small chunk of cherry-blossom hair.</p><p>“You have to tell me,” Ino insisted as Sakura’s eyes caught with horror on the marks that trailed down her neck and front. “<em>I</em> ended up with Sai, of course, but you, I didn’t get to see who <em>you</em> ran off with. Tell me, who was it? Don’t make me come find you.”</p><p>Sakura reached up with a glowing finger and healed away the fang-marked hickeys as she gave a deep sigh. “Don’t you dare. I’ll tell Sai about that one time you nearly got with with Genma--”</p><p>“Shut up!!” Ino’s squeal was loud enough that she had to move the phone away from her ear. Sakura turned her nude body around in the mirror and gave a groan as she found more hickey marks on her lower back. As she healed them, she pressed the phone back to her ear, Ino’s voice going on. “So was he good? At least tell me how good your night was if you won’t tell me who it is. I’ll find out anyway. How many times did you--”</p><p>“Pig, shut the hell up!” Sakura’s blush returned as she finished healing her marks and turned to the shower. <em>I don’t remember all of it yet anyway,</em> she thought as she reached out and turned on the showerhead, bowing her head with shame as Ino’s squeal sounded through the phone’s speaker again. “I hear that shower! You’re still with him, aren’t you? TELL ME WHO IT IS!”</p><p>Sakura froze with horror as there was a quiet knock on the bathroom door, and she looked slowly over as Orochimaru spoke through the thin wood. “Sakura-chan, there’s some shampoo in the cupboard next to the shower. Yell if you need anything,” and then he padded off into a different room, leaving Sakura standing with the phone gripped in her hand and silence on the other line.</p><p>Sakura’s thumb moved to end the call but she winced as she heard Ino’s scream. “OROCHIM---”</p><p>Sakura threw the phone aside and stepped into the shower. She reached out from the steam and took the shampoo from the nearby cupboard, giving a soft curse as she squirted some into her hand and ran it through her hair. <em>It smells like him,</em> she realized with sinking horror as the strange but not unpleasant mixed smells of lime and eucalyptus tingled in her nose, <em>oh Kami I actually slept with him.</em> The thought circled around and around in her head as it sunk in. She lathered her hair and let the hot water rinse away her shame as she let the heat wash and clean her body. As she finished cleansing herself and stepped out of the shower, taking a clean towel from the same cupboard and drying off, she had another realization; she snatched up the phone and called Ino back.</p><p>“Sakura! Oh <em>kami!</em> Did you really sleep with---”</p><p>“Yes, Pig, and the only reason I called you back is so I can tell you to never fucking tell anyone.” Sakura hissed into the phone. “Never ever. I will ruin you if you let anyone know --”</p><p>“Fine, but you have to tell me all the details, or I’m gonna tell everyone. Just imagine Naruto’s reaction---or Tsunade’s---”</p><p>“No!” Sakura hunched on the bathroom floor, eyes flicking about like she was being watched. “I’m not… I’m not telling you the details!”</p><p>“What inspired you to bed the old sannin anyway? What was it like? I mean, ew, but also what the hell, Forehead? Was it that long tongue he has?”</p><p>“It was <em>your shitty sake</em>,” Sakura spat, and she clutched the phone hard enough to crack the screen. “Now if you’ll excuse me I need to get the hell out of here and get home…”</p><p>She hung up again in the middle of Ino’s continuous teasing stream of risque questions and pulled on her clothes. She winced at their soiled state, their stale scents of sex and sake making her wrinkle her nose as she opened the bathroom door.</p><p>Sakura saw with a blink that the bed was made; she turned to see Orochimaru in the kitchen, sipping coffee and wearing nothing but a simple white robe with his usual rope belt. Swallowing her rising apprehension she approached, and his golden eyes appraised her with quiet amusement. “Thank you for letting me use your shower,” she mumbled as she reached out to the coffee pot and poured herself a mug, bringing the hot liquid to her lips. It occurred to her that he was probably hung-over and she turned a curious eye to him.</p><p>Orochimaru blinked as he sipped the coffee once more. His skin was smoothly hale and much too young-looking for his true age, his golden eyes only slightly weary, and he appeared completely fine. Sakura turned around as she regarded him, leaning back on the counter. Her heart thudded in her chest; she was a little terrified of facing <em>this</em> conversation.</p><p>“Look, I…” She squinted back at him as she tried not to look away. “I’m sorry I uh… threw myself at you last night. I shouldn’t have…” She couldn’t help but to glance away, and he chuckled. “I told you not to apologize.”</p><p>A warm memory floated up from her stomach into her mind - the drunken exhilaration in her blood as he descended upon her, his cool breath tickling the fine hairs on her face as his tongue laved over every inch of her skin. The memory jointed into another - their bodies joined in the dim moonlit room, twisted with sweat and pleasure, his golden irises piercing through the darkness.</p><p>Her face flushed and she brought a hand to her eyes as she sipped her coffee. <em>I’ll never be able to look him in the eyes again.</em></p><p>She heard him get to his feet, and her blood pulsed again as he came toward her; she anticipated some sort of touch, but Orochimaru simply walked past her and rinsed his mug in the sink. He folded his arms and looked down at her; she felt the pressure of his eyes, and she dared herself to look back up at him. He was smirking and she hoped he didn’t see the blush on her cheeks. “So? Were you heading home now, or did you need something else?”</p><p>“No,” she blurted, hurriedly swallowing the rest of the coffee; her mouth burned, and she shoved the mug on the counter. She lifted a hand to her lips and healed the burns. “Dammit.”</p><p>The velvet timbre of his voice was a touch deeper and she looked up at him with wide eyes as he spoke again. “Was that a no to leaving, or a no to needing something else?”</p><p>“Something else,” she hissed, and her blush deepened at his smile. “I’ll… I’ll see you later.” Sakura cursed herself silently for not saying something rude instead as she swerved and moved toward the front door. As her hand turned the handle, she felt a sudden cool shadow looming over behind her, and she turned her head slightly to the side as Orochimaru bent his face into her hair, golden eyes piercing her as he breathed in her shampoo. “You’re welcome back here anytime.” A cool hand slipped around her hip, and she gave another shiver at his breath on her ear; she blinked a few times, and then she wrenched open the door, slipping into the hallway with a loud exhale as she fled with adrenaline thundering in her veins.</p><p> </p><p>Late at night she dreamt of the wicked tongue that had claimed her body and given her endless waves of pleasure. Her body remembered the touch and feel of him, the piercing golden eyes, the cool touch of his skin; his warm metallic scent filling her nose. She was horrified and attracted to the feeling and the sights and the sounds and she woke drenched in sweat, cursing at the dark of her room.</p><p>Several nights like this passed until it became a week. If she saw Orochimaru in the street she would run before he saw her. She started probing areas for his chakra signature before entering them to make sure she did not risk running into him. She hated how her body thrilled when his signature was present, forcing her to turn away and disappear; she hated how her horror and hatred from the things he had done in the past were not enough to clear her mind of their night together and free her from the physical attraction she felt.</p><p>She also made great efforts to avoid Ino. She did not succeed, however, when Ino finally tracked her down one evening a week and a half later.</p><p>Sakura had been leaving the grocery store with a bag of vegetables in hand when a white hand pinched the back of her collar and held on tight, bodily turning her around. Ino stood before Sakura, fuming. “Forehead,” she growled, “Have you been avoiding me?”</p><p>“Yes,” Sakura replied honestly, her cheeks staining pink. “I sure have.”</p><p>“Come,” Ino said through clenched teeth, “We are going to go and have a drink and you are going to tell me <em>everything</em>.”</p><p>Memories of the last time they had had a drink flashed through her head, the golden snake eyes infiltrating her mind, and Sakura shook her head vigorously as Orochimaru’s whisper echoed in her head - <em>you’re welcome back here anytime.</em> “No no no. No way. I’m not doing that.”</p><p>Ino’s grin was wicked as her hand gripped Sakura’s arm, dragging her down the street. “Too bad. It’s your fault you avoided me and now we’re having a drink in public.”</p><p>Regardless of Sakura’s half-hearted protests, they ended up sitting at the counter in a small dive bar, drinks in hand; Sakura dashed her eyes into the glimmering sake as she dreaded Ino’s line of questioning.</p><p>“First,” Ino said with a nasty smile, “we’ll come up with a nickname for him so you can dish everything without fear of your secret getting out. How about Ol’ Creepy? Or One-Eyed-Snake?”</p><p>“No!” Sakura hissed. “Don’t. Shit, someone will hear us and know.” <em>But he has use of both of his eyes. What is she referencing? -- Oh</em>. She took a sip of the drink as she realized it, shoving back more memories with a distinct reddening of her cheeks.</p><p>Ino glanced around at the sparsely populated bar. “Everyone here is a civilian and I didn’t say his name. Calm down.”</p><p>“Just get this interrogation over with,” she grumbled, hiding her face from her friend as she took another sip.</p><p>“How did it happen?”</p><p>Sakura sighed into the glass. “Hard to remember. I was pretty smashed.” She swished around the golden liquid, the memory of his eyes in the shadow of the booth flickering. “Golden eyes. He was in a dark booth, I couldn’t see him.”</p><p>Ino’s giggle made her cringe further as she went on. “He’s got really nice hair,” Sakura whispered, gaze flicking about, and Ino leaned in with pink cheeks and delighted eyes. “Oh? So I’m guessing Drunk Sakura just couldn’t resist feeling up all that hair and <em>then</em> some?”</p><p>“Ughh,” Sakura groaned as she buried her face in her arms on the counter. “Pig you’re making this impossible.”</p><p>“Yeah yeah. Tell me the rest.” Ino tapped her nails impatiently and Sakura sighed dejectedly into her arms. “Well, I got… carried away, he even warned me off, but you know my stubborn streak is so much worse with alcohol…” Ino nodded gleefully; Sakura settled her head deeper into her folded arms. “We flash-teleported to his place from there.”</p><p>“Oh? Eager.” Ino’s laugh was hearty as she swigged her drink. “How did you even want to bang ol’ snake-eyes anyway? He’s like… super old and gross.”</p><p>“He’s not gross,” Sakura protested, and then after hearing herself speak, groaned at herself. Ino’s teeth shone in a predatory grin. “Ohh, is that so, Sakura-chan? Tell me more about why you think he’s not gross.”</p><p>“No.” She reached out and took her glass of sake, downing the rest of it before hiding her face again.</p><p>Ino jabbed Sakura in the side with a nail. “Tell me,” she said in a threatening tone, and Sakura shuddered. “Ino, I swear. I don’t want to go into it.”</p><p>“Tell me.”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Forehead, I’ll tell everyone here about that time that you pulled a stunt of Naruto-level stupidness and peeked in the men’s---”</p><p>“PIG!” Sakura chucked her glass at Ino, who caught it with a laugh. “Okay, so then you have to keep telling me details.”</p><p>The sake was tingling in her stomach, and Sakura relaxed slightly. “Fine. You know what, since you wanted to know… He’s got a wickedly long tongue, and he was a <em>demon</em> in bed, and I’ve been avoiding him for the last two weeks because it’s all I can think about. He doesn’t disgust me as much anymore, which is a whole new level of horrifying because of the things he’s <em>done</em> in the past, and now I can’t even <em>look</em> at that cursed snake-sannin without thinking about how I just want to do it all again.” She huffed out a hot breath as she finished. She wrenched her eyes shut and then inhaled slowly, opening her eyes again when Ino didn’t reply.</p><p>With slow creeping horror she saw the very sannin she spoke of standing a small distance behind where Ino sat, his golden eyes fixed intently on Sakura.</p><p>“Oh no,” Sakura mouthed, her gut sinking to the floor. Ino turned around upon seeing Sakura’s expression; her blue eyes widened at the sight of Orochimaru standing there. If it weren’t because of what she’d just said, Sakura might have laughed at the way his pupils were dilated in his comical look of shock, but she was instead mortified beyond comprehension as they stared at each other for a long moment.</p><p>“<em>Shit</em>,” Sakura cursed, and she darted to her feet; in a flash and the rippling of hanging cloth over the bar’s front she was gone, running as fast as she could down the dark street.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. truths</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sakura dashed up and over the rooftops of Konoha, letting her legs carry her across the village; she leapt over a fence and landed on the forest floor.  She stood for a moment, her chest heaving lightly before she kicked off into the trees.  The cool air flickered in her hair and relieved the heat from her skin as she ran.</p><p>She pushed aside a large branch as she scooted down a ravine, and Sakura found herself in a clearing small enough that the tree canopy was ungapped.  The divet of grassy ground dipped into a hidden pond that extended into the moss-shielded entrance to a small cave.  Light lavender flowers bloomed in cascading patterns that hung over the water and reflected in the starlight, sending silvery glimmers through the rippling blades of grass and along Sakura’s skin as she settled by the water.  She peered into her reflection.</p><p><em>Is what I said true?</em>  Sakura winced at her gut’s automatic yes that shot upward.  She sighed, her breath causing gentle ripples in the pond’s dark water.  She felt shame clench her stomach. <em>Disgusting.  It’s disgusting I could want him that way drunk, let alone sober.</em>  Her hands raised and covered her face as she felt her thoughts roil in her head.  <em>Even if he has lived peacefully and almost like a normal person in Konoha for years now after war, that still doesn’t mean that he’s changed.</em></p><p>She blinked as she remembered how shocking it had been for everyone initially when Orochimaru had settled in Konoha, having been pardoned for his past by the all-too-forgiving Naruto for his efforts in the war and starting anew.  He had even been helpful on occasion for missions, providing valuable intel and at one point intervening to save Leaf nin’s lives.  His actions and his apparently peaceful restart appeared to be genuine.  She remembered his courteousness to her the morning after her drunken tirade upon him, his cool politeness and knowing smirk.</p><p>“But still,” she whispered aloud, her hands running through her hair.  <em>Orochimaru?</em>  She bit into her lip.  <em>Even if he’s peaceful now… Even if I am a bit lonely.  Him?</em>  The water beneath her rippled from her sharp exhale.  “Relax,” she whispered aloud to herself, “it’s just physical attraction.  Nothing more.”  She felt her shoulders untense slightly as she worked to forgive herself.</p><p>Though a bubble of dubiousness popped in her stomach, the assurance was enough for her, and she laid back on the forest floor as she closed her eyes and let the night air soothe her.  She listened to the wind in the trees, the crickets in the ravine, and the rustling of the grass beside her.</p><p><em>Rustling?</em>  Sakura opened her eyes.  Turning her head, she was faced with golden irises in the darkness beside her.</p><p>“You followed me?!”  She glared at Orochimaru.</p><p>“So?”  He stretched back casually in the grass with a smirk.   “You ran from me.”</p><p>Sakura gave an annoyed huff as she cast her eyes to the waters near their feet, blood rushing to her cheeks as she remembered her words from earlier.  Though she already knew the answer, she voiced her concern anyway. “So… you heard me, at the bar.”</p><p>The lingering smirk was audible in his silence and Sakura hung her head with a sigh.  “How much did you hear…”</p><p>“Mm.  All of it.”</p><p>“What!”  Sakura shot a glare at Orochimaru, who had his arms stretched up behind his head, golden eyes watching the shifting tree canopy.  He offered her no further answers and she groaned as she fell back into the grass next to him.  The night’s ambience played around them like a white-noise symphony; her sigh was the solo that clouded up into the air above them.  Sakura found herself feeling oddly relaxed and tense at the same time.  Finding the questions within herself, she closed her eyes as she spoke.  “So… have you really changed?”</p><p>At his continued quiet, she turned her head in the grass to look over at Orochimaru.  He was watching the clouds that scattered slowly beyond the distant branches of the trees.  “I suppose,” he said then, blinking slowly.  Gold flashed in his irises as he turned to look back at Sakura.  “Why do you ask?”</p><p>“I suspected it, because I trust Naruto and his big damn heart,” she answered, “he has forgiven and inspired change within the most unexpected kinds of people.  I just… I don’t know.”  She looked back up into the sky, her brows drawing together.  “I think I just needed to hear it.”</p><p>“And why is that, Sakura-chan?”</p><p>She covered her face with her hands.  “I slept with you, you idiot.”  Then she pressed her palms against her face harder, remembering with a flush that he was still a sannin regardless of their changed relationship dynamics.  “Sorry… Orochimaru-sama.”  The title felt greasy on her tongue, and she winced beneath her palms.</p><p>“Hn.”  At his amused tone, she peeked through two fingers to look at him; he was propped up on an elbow and facing her.  Sakura’s blood pulsed at the way he smiled dangerously, white and fanged teeth gleaming in the dark.  “You’ve been rude to me twice now today, Sakura-chan.”  Orochimaru blinked at her slowly.  “So, you should answer me truthfully to avoid any more rudeness.  Is what you said earlier true?”</p><p>She peered at him from her hands, and he grinned at her partially-obscured mortified expression.  Her earlier words echoed teasingly in her head.  <em>He’s a demon in bed… I just want to do it all again.</em>  She bit back a sharp retort at his question and closed her fingers, hiding herself again.  <em>He’s using my embarrassment to manipulate me for answers,</em> she thought, <em>you should just leave before this goes somewhere even more dangerous.</em></p><p>Sakura’s thoughts were interrupted and she stiffened as she felt his slender fingers curl around hers and pull them from from her face.  Her eyes flicked to Orochimaru’s hands over hers and then to his flashing eyes.  Increasing panic pulsed into her blood as her instincts fought between fight-or-flight.</p><p>“Thinking of running away yet again, Sakura-chan?”  She winced at the way he seemed to read her thoughts easily, and her gaze trailed distractedly then along the lavender lines that traced his eyes and ended along his slender nose.  The moonlight shone on his pale, smooth skin.  Her pupils widened as she realized with churning horror and heat that he was rather beautiful.</p><p>When Sakura's subconscious whispered to her the memory of the feel of that skin beneath her fingertips, her eyes widened and she shook her head.</p><p>“No?  Then what is your plan?”  Orochimaru’s hand moved up from hers and rested on the side of her face.  She stared in disbelief as he leaned in.  <em>What is he doing?  I should have run.  Maybe he’s still terrible and he’s using me.  Maybe I should have --</em></p><p>Sakura closed her eyes without further thought as his lips melded against hers.  She responded instinctively, her hands lifting to card through his long dark hair; she tugged him closer.  Her thumb stroked along his smooth cheekbone and her body heat flared at the feel of his cool skin against hers.  “Dammit,” she murmured against Orochimaru’s lips as her fingers tightened in his hair.  “I’m supposed to be avoiding you for the rest of my life.”  One of his hands trailed up her side and she shuddered into his touch.  “Mm.  Well, you’re not succeeding in that, are you?”  He pulled her bodily until she was pressed fully along his chest, and his midnight hair fell in a curtain around her face, shutting out the world around them as he smirked down at her with glinting golden eyes.  “I’m not even drunk,” she murmured as she allowed her hand to curve along his sharp jawline.  Her eyes narrowed up at him.  “Did you do something to me?”</p><p>“Many things.”  There was a wicked gleam in his eye and she shoved him, sitting back and disentangling herself from him.  “I’m being serious.  If you put some kind of mark on me, or a jutsu---”</p><p>“You healed the marks I left on you.”  Orochimaru’s smile was wide, mockingly innocent, and she exhaled through her nose as she resisted trying to punch him for his playful insolence.  She shoved away the images of his many fang-marked hickeys he’d left on her body during their night together and tried to focus, her green eyes opening wide as she pinched her lips in indignation.  “Not <em>those</em> kind of -- Dammit, answer me straight, you snake.”</p><p>Orochimaru's dark pupils dilated a moment at her tone, and then in a flash Sakura found herself pinned to the forest floor beneath him.  His dark hair fell forward to make shadows in a frame around her face once more as his golden gaze glittered in a deadly way.  “What did I say about being rude, Sakura-chan?”  He pressed his body along hers as he kissed her again, and she gasped as his fangs pricked her lips and drew blood; his long tongue licked along her bottom lip, and she groaned as he pressed his full weight against her.  Sakura's hands drew up his lean sides and around his back; she sighed into his mouth as she responded to his angry, deep kiss.  “Stop it,” she hissed into his mouth as she tried to restrain herself, and he smiled against her lips, moving his mouth to her neck and biting her tan skin gently.  “Is that really what you want?”</p><p>“Yes,” she spat, gripping his sides and rolling them both over until she had him pinned to the forest floor instead.  Sakura hovered over him, her body still aligned along his; she felt out of breath, and he smirked up at her as she gripped his wrists and pulled them up above their heads through the grass.  “Ah… Sakura-chan.”  Orochimaru smiled up at her with a knowing look.  “If your intent is to repeat your actions from before… I won’t tell you no.”  His knees clamped around her waist, pinning her to where she laid atop him, and she buried her face in his shoulder as she felt the heat between their cores increasing.  “I can’t want you,” she hissed into his ear, his dark purple earring cold against her nose and her fingers curling into his clothes as she tried to resist, “I can’t…” She breathed in his skin, that metallic scent that tasted of fresh air and an unmistakably masculine tang, and she sighed into the crook of his neck.</p><p>Orochimaru's voice was husky as his hands gripped her hips.  “But you do.”</p><p>The friction between where their legs and hips tangled increased, making the tempo of her heartbeat against his chest speed up; the pooled heat burned through her body, and she could feel his pulse beneath his skin rising with hers.  Sakura took in a deep breath; his scents filled her nose again, that now-familiar lime and eucalyptus of his hair and the metallic pheromones of his skin intoxicating her mind; she closed her eyes as she lifted her trembling hands away from his arms and slipped her hands around his shoulders.  With a defeated sigh she pressed her face deeper into Orochimaru’s pale skin.  “Just… one more time,” she whispered against his throat. </p><p>His deep chuckle made her shiver atop him as his hands ran beneath her vest and pulled it above her head in one swift motion.  Sakura reached down and untied his obi; his clothes fell away loosely, and as she tugged away her shorts, Orochimaru sat up and raised a hand to grip her chin, pausing her actions.  She stared with red cheeks back into his flashing golden eyes.  The smirk was gone; she was lost again in the shimmering iridescence of his dark slitted eyes, and she drew her brows together in frustration as she tipped forward and slanted her mouth against his.</p><p>He gave a growl as he finished tearing away their clothes, and Sakura pulled her knees around his waist where she was now sitting in his lap.  Orochimaru speared her with himself without warning, and she cried out, gripping her hands around his slender back and tipping her face into his neck; he let her feel him for a moment before his hands on her waist lifted her several inches up, drawing her almost off of him, before he brought her back down and filled her again.  Sakura cried out into his skin.  <em>“--maru,”</em> she gasped as he rolled himself up into her in a circular motion, letting her feel him caress her insides with himself.  Her body shuddered against him and she gripped the side of his face as she kissed him again.  </p><p>Orochimaru pulled them back down together to the ground, and Sakura adjusted her legs so she straddled him; she lifted her hips up until he was drawn out of her, listening to the slick sounds as she teased his tip at her entrance.  She gave him a smile of a malice rivaling his as she felt his body tense from the teasing; golden eyes narrowed at her as she kept tormenting him, and with a hiss he reached up and slammed her hips down.  Sakura yelped as he began to thrust up into her angrily, and she smiled down at him between thrusts.  “Tormentor… doesn’t like being tormented?”  She bent and placed a soft, mocking kiss at the corner of his mouth; Orochimaru snarled and flipped her onto the grass as he increased his pace.  She made little cries as he had no mercy, slamming himself deep into her with every angry thrust, frowning dangerously down at her; Sakura briefly thought he was truly enraged, but she noticed the depth of the passion in his golden eyes, and she groaned when his hand moved down to rub her pearl while he pounded her into the grass.</p><p>She screamed as she was pushed to the edge, and his responding cry made her gasp with him; they collapsed together, and she breathed hard into his hair that covered her face as her body rippled with the shockwaves of their synchronous orgasm.  She curled her arms around his back and focused on breathing, her heart pounding desperately against her chest.</p><p>Sakura tightened her shaky legs around his back, silently asking him not to go; she let out a surprised yelp as Orochimaru bit into her shoulder, his tongue moving across her skin as he sucked her shoulder into his mouth; her skin tingled with pain and with pleasure, and he sat back on top of her with a satisfied smirk at the dark red bruise and fang marks on her shoulder.  Sakura made a pout as she glared up at him, her core stirring at how he twitched where he was still inside of her.  “What was that for?”</p><p>He moved forward gently, and she let out a sultry moan at the feel of him moving within her; she then reached out and gripped his legs around her waist.  “No, no, too soon,” she sighed.</p><p>Orochimaru slipped out of her then, leaning forward and planting a kiss along her jaw.  “I enjoyed this ‘one last time,’ Sakura-chan.”  Then he was gone, a flickering cool breeze above her where he had been a moment ago, and she let out a vivid curse as she closed her legs and sat up in the grass.  She looked around the dark forest with angry green eyes.  <em>Did he really just leave me here like that?</em></p><p>She caught the slightest trace of his scent in the air, leading back to Konoha, and Sakura narrowed her green eyes.  <em>It would seem he hasn’t changed that much.  No way in hell am I letting him just abandon me like this.</em>  She ignored how her cheeks stained red at how his scent was mixed with hers as she wrenched on her clothes and darted into the forest after him.</p><p> </p><p>Sakura soared through the trees, a new energy invigorating her as her anger sizzled into a rage that boiled her blood.  The wind whipped past her ears as she leapt high into the air above the Konoha roofs and landed gracefully on a fencepost; with a sniff, she turned her eyes into the direction he’d gone and took off in a blur across the rooftops.  </p><p>A figure slammed into her, and Sakura tumbled down onto the top of a rooftop to see Ino pinning her down.  “Sakura!”  She looked panicked, and she began patting Sakura down, her blue eyes intensely worried.  “Stop right here.  Are you all right?  You left so suddenly, and he took off after you.”  She sat back, getting off of Sakura, who sat up on her knees and rubbed the back of her neck as she shook her head.  “Yes, I know.  He found me.”</p><p>“Are you okay?  Did he hurt you?”</p><p>“No.”  Sakura glanced away, pink staining her cheeks, and Ino didn’t notice as she kept prodding her arms and sides.  “True, you don’t look hurt.  But you smell bad.”  Ino wrinkled her nose as Sakura flinched backwards.  “What did you…”</p><p>Then Ino’s eyes widened.  “You smell like him.”</p><p>Sakura shook her head quickly.  “No no, you see, we fought a bit, and I’m fine.  I chased him back here with intent to beat him up.”  She slammed her fist into her palm, her knuckles cracking convincingly, and Ino’s wide eyes narrowed.  “You’re lying.”</p><p>Sakura leaned back an inch as Ino sniffed.  “His smell is all over you.” Her gaze flicked down Sakura’s clothes and she shifted with an increasingly red face; as Ino returned her stare to her best friend’s tomato-red face, her jaw fell slack.  “You <em>screwed</em>?!  Again?!”</p><p>“Shut up, Pig,” Sakura grumbled as she hunched where she sat, looking moodily out at the night.  Ino was staring at her with pure disbelief, and Sakura’s face burned hotter in her embarrassment.  “Man, Forehead.  This is just something else.  You and ol’ snake-eyes?  Have you guys been in a relationship I didn’t know about?  Or did what he heard you say just stoke the fire <em>that</em> much?”  She prodded Sakura, and she buried her pink hair into her knees.  “No, no, and… maybe,” she mumbled, smiling slightly at her friend’s responding squeal.  “Oh <em>kami.</em>  This is <em>fresh.</em>  How do you expect me not to tell everyone we know?  You had better offer me a good bribe, Forehead, because this is the most interesting gossip I’ve had in years.”  She danced where she stood on the rooftop.  “And it’s about you and your hot new item with the legendary, creepy-as-hell snake sannin... whom you're bedding while <em>sober</em>.”</p><p>“It was just the one more time,” Sakura protested weakly into her knees where she had firmly pressed her burning face, cracking one eye open to glower up at Ino, who giggled in response.  “Oh man.  You coming clean about it only makes this so much better and so much worse at the same time.  You really got over Sasuke, huh?  Trying out some <em>very</em> new things?”  She avoided Sakura’s swatting hand as she teased her.  “Lovemaking in the forest… How romantic, Forehead.  What’s next?  The laboratory?”</p><p>Sakura grimaced into her knees at the thought.  She imagined being propped up on the counter with Orochimaru standing between her legs, golden eyes flashing as he pressed her against the edge, glass vials scattering around them and breaking, and she groaned into her knees as she tried to dash the possible tryst out of her head.  “Damn you, Ino,” she hissed, “I need to get going before you make me lose my mind.”  She stood up, glaring at her gleeful friend as she looked back in the direction she had been going.  “I wasn’t lying about the kicking-his-ass part.”</p><p>“Oh?”  Ino folded her arms, long ponytail shifting as she tilted her head questioningly.  “What did he do to make you so mad?”</p><p>“Ran off,” Sakura growled, and her hands balled into fists.  “Right afterward.”</p><p>Ino raised her slim brows.  “Well, go get him then.”</p><p>“With pleasure.”  Sakura kicked off from the rooftop, her anger rising again as she tracked Orochimaru down.</p><p> </p><p>Sakura didn’t bother knocking on the apartment door.  She lifted her foot and kicked it down.  Striding into the apartment, her fists gripping at her sides, she looked around with burning eyes for her target.  When she didn’t spot him in the kitchen, she turned to walk into the bedroom; the rooms were dark, silent, empty.  With a curse she spun around and then spotted him leaning against the wall with a nasty smile on his face.  “Sakura-chan.”</p><p>She stomped up to him, her fist raised to strike, and he smirked back at her unflinchingly.  She blinked when she realized he was in nothing but a towel, his long dark hair falling in damp strands around his face and down his shoulders.  “You ass,” she spat, and she lunged forward with her fist.  Her knuckles impacted into the wall, leaving a sizeable hole in the drywall; she spun, hissing with anger at his shadow clone, and saw him again.  He was leaning against the counter this time with the same teasing smile.  “Missed me?”  He blinked as she vaulted over the counter and threw her fist again.  </p><p>The shadow clone poofed as she stopped her fist in time from breaking apart the counter.  She backed away and turned toward the sound of his lilting voice again, coming from the bedroom; she stepped through the open doorway, fuming to see him sitting on the edge of the bed with folded arms.  “Tsk tsk, Sakura-chan.  Simply not quick enough.”</p><p>With a roar she lunged at him, and this time she hit flesh as she pinned him back on the bed, her knees straddling his hips as she lifted her fist and brought it down.  She sunk her knuckles into the mattress just beside his face and bent, her green eyes smoldering; his golden eyes searched hers with his ever-present smirk, and with a growl she kissed him.  Sakura’s hands gripped his shoulders as he shifted to adjust her in his lap, his mouth responding to hers with an edge, and she felt him prick her lips with his fangs in the same place he had earlier.  She groaned as his tongue curled around hers; she shivered in a mix of revolt and delight as their tongues battled.  Her hand curled around his head, and she clenched her thighs around his waist as he sat up with her in his arms.</p><p>Then she pulled back, her features twisted in an expression of deep frustration.  She regarded him with accusing eyes and Orochimaru raised his dark brows.  “Yes, Sakura-chan?”</p><p>“You left me,” she said, her tone quieter, and he blinked back at her innocently.  “And?”</p><p>“And?!”  She shoved him lightly.  “What do you mean ‘and’?!”</p><p>“I specifically recall you saying ‘just one more time’.”  Orochimaru's smirk returned.  “But it seems you’re already breaking that resolve.”  He glanced down at where their laps were entangled, the towel barely covering him, and Sakura blushed mauve.  “I…” She shifted, keeping her legs curled around his lower back as she gave a great sigh and watched him tiredly.  She thought for a moment, deciding what she wanted to do.  <em>Screw it.  Even though he is who he is, I undeniably want this now, and I’ve been lonely long enough.</em></p><p>“Fine.”</p><p>Orochimaru leaned in, golden gaze glinting.  “Fine what?”</p><p>Sakura tipped her head forward, feeling a tang of boldness run down her throat as she spoke with her lips brushing along his shoulder.  “You said I was welcome back here anytime.”  Her hands ran up his sides.  “I’m taking you up on that.”</p><p>It was Orochimaru’s turn to be surprised as she pressed him back down to the mattress; her hands slid up his smooth chest and she stared at his elegant features.  “I want to see where this goes.”  Her heart thudded madly against her chest as his cool hands felt up her lower back, setting fire across her skin.  His smile had returned, and she blushed at the way he regarded her with easy warmth.  “Hmm.  It’s an interesting proposal,” he murmured as he turned them over on the mattress; she tilted her head back as he trailed a tongue along the sensitive skin of her throat and across the marks he left on her shoulder before returning his glittering golden eyes to her green ones.  “Are you sure?”</p><p>“Don’t push it,” she said as she reached up and tugged him down to her.  “I still don’t fully believe you’ve changed.”  Her fingers threaded through the silky black strands and he laughed softly as she tugged him further into the bedsheets, their bodies pressing together.  “What, are you supposed to be my incentive to keep being <em>good</em>?”  He whispered the word sinfully into her ear, and she arched against him instinctively.  “Perhaps.”</p><p>“Interesting.”  One of his hands took her thigh and hitched it up on his waist as he slid over her, his other hand pressing her into the pillows.  He hovered his face over hers, golden eyes flashing in the dim light of the room; she watched him intently as he spoke with a deep assenting tone, the smirk returning to the corner of his lips.  “I accept.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. key</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With hefty bribes of coffee, tea, sake, and divulged details to Ino, Sakura managed to keep her strange new relationship quiet for six months.  Her biggest difficulty was not in being stealthy, but in keeping Ino in check.</p><p>“One of these days I’m just going to explode with all of this,” Ino was saying as she finished off the cup of green tea; she set it down and leaned forward toward Sakura with a conspiratorial whisper.  “I still can’t believe no one but me knows.  I mean… Look at you.”</p><p>Sakura blushed and pouted indignantly.  “What do you mean, look at me?”  She unconsciously felt around her neck to make sure she didn’t have marked skin showing, and Ino made a face at Sakura as she leaned back in her chair.  “Well… you’re happy.  You’ve been glowing like a paper lantern for weeks.  Before that you were like a deflated balloon at a kid’s birthday party.”</p><p>“Hey!”  Sakura glared at her friend, but she knew she was right, colorful descriptions aside.  Though she still found herself in moments of doubt and gut-wrenching anxiety that all of Konoha would discover her secret, she was generally feeling much better off than she had before it had all started.  Her loneliness had gone away to be replaced by a general gladness to be alive and a transparent feeling of fulfillment.</p><p>“You’re wrong about one thing though,” Sakura sighed as she stirred her tea idly.  “You can’t be the only one noticing that I’ve been in a perpetual better mood.  I feel like someone is going to take a guess that I’m in a relationship, and then they’ll start asking who.”</p><p>“A <em>relationship</em>?!”  Ino’s squeal made several other patrons in the tea shop lift their heads, and Sakura hissed at her under breath.  “Pig, bring your voice down, for kami’s sake.”</p><p>“So you guys are <em>serious</em>?!”</p><p>Sakura’s fist slammed as lightly as she could manage on the table without breaking the dishes.  “Voice <em>down</em>.  And no, we’re not serious.”  She squinted with embarrassment as she looked away.  “Can we talk about something else?  Someone’s going to hear.”</p><p>Ino’s ice-blue eyes glittered.  “You know it’s inevitable, right?  Everyone is going to find out eventually if you carry on with him.  And then you’ll be kicked into the stratosphere by Tsunade while <em>he’s</em> kicked by… well, everyone else.  It would and will be Konoha’s hot gossip for ages.”</p><p>“That won’t happen.”  Sakura glared at Ino.  “Especially as long as you don’t tell anyone.”</p><p>Ino shrugged.  “I’ll do my best.”</p><p>Sakura sighed.  “It’s not all… perfect, though.”  She rubbed her neck.  “He’s a little…” She squinted while searching for the right word.  “Possessive.”</p><p>“Well yeah.  And that surprises you why, exactly?  He’s <em>Orochimaru</em>.”  Ino rolled her eyes.  “You’re so blind sometimes, you know that Forehead?”  Then she thought of something and her blue eyes shot to Sakura’s.  “He’s not hurting you, is he?  Because if he is I swear to kami I will tear him into a hundred pieces and---”</p><p>“No no no.” Sakura shook her head vigorously.  “Nothing like that.”  She tried to hide her blush in her tea, sipping it with red cheeks.  “Just… just harmless markings.  And he’s a little demanding.  Nothing much to worry about.”  She chose not to voice his increasingly-expressed jealousy of other people she spends time with.</p><p>“Oh, gross.”  Ino waved a disdainful hand at her friend.  “I don’t want to know.  Just as long as it’s consentual… damn, Sakura, I can’t believe that you’re still messing around with him.  Aren’t you bored yet?”</p><p>Sakura glared at her, setting the teacup down a little too hard and cracking the plate; a look of guilt crossed her features before reverting to a scowl.  Ino raised her brows at her.  “Well, Forehead?  What’s got you sticking around after the initial burn?”  Her teasing tone was mixed with genuine curiosity, and Sakura groaned.  “I don’t know… why do you always have to cross-examine me…”</p><p>“Because I’m the only person other than him who knows about you two, and it’s my job to make sure you’re okay.”  Ino folded her arms with a huff.  “Not only that, but he’s <em>dangerous</em>.  I’m sure you have forgotten that since your first little get-together, but down here in reality where the rest of us are, he is still one of the most terrible and amoral people in Konoha.  Get your paper-lantern head checked, I think you’ve gone senile.”</p><p>“He’s not so dangerous anymore,” Sakura argued, idly stirring her tea.  “He’s changed.”</p><p>“Do you genuinely believe that?”  The corner of Ino’s mouth downturned.  “I guess you would know, but… I’m still wondering what you could possibly still want from him beyond hooking up.”</p><p>“I told you we’re not serious,” Sakura insisted, and then felt her stomach drop unpleasantly at her words.  She winced and pushed away the tea.  “I’m done with tea.  I’ll see you later, Pig… it was good spending time with you.”  She got up from her chair; Ino’s voice behind her was quiet but authoritative.  “Be careful, Sakura.”</p><p> </p><p>The sun bled orange across the street as Sakura walked home after finishing her shift at the hospital later that evening, gripping a sheaf of medical reports to her chest.  Her thoughts spun in the back of her mind like a spider making its web; her body was lightly tired as she walked, her lower back aching after working hard to help patients during her shift.  Though troubled thoughts borne from her earlier conversation with Ino wriggled in her subconscious, trying to break through and flood her mind, she was in a content mood as she walked quietly through the sienna sunset-washed street.  She breathed in the scents of leaf-musk and cool evening air, feeling her instincts stir.</p><p>When she felt the sudden presence nearby, she stopped in the street with wide eyes, turning her head toward the dark alley with a flush of heat; she had enough time to let out a squeak as white hands curled around her middle and pulled her into the shadows.  The papers she had been holding fluttered around them in a white scatter as Orochimaru’s mouth slanted over hers.  Her arms wound around his back and their faces were hidden from the world as his long black hair fell around them in a dark curtain.  </p><p>“You get to pick those up for me,” Sakura murmured against his mouth, her attempt at a chiding tone slipping into a silkier register as she drew back and met his glinting golden eyes.  There was an upward lilt of his cheek hinting at a smile that touched the deep ochre hues of his irises.  When she felt the heat in her core rush to her chest, she stepped back, her hands slipping down the front of his loose white yukata and teal unfastened shirt.  Sakura shook her head of the spinning feeling in her ribcage as she spoke, averting her eyes from Orochimaru’s with a flush in her cheeks.  “Jumping me like that… someone will see.” Her hands tightened around his shirtfront as she glanced around them at the empty alley.</p><p>She felt his throaty chuckle against her palms on his chest as his hands lifted and pressed lightly over hers.  “So?  Perhaps their shock would make the evening even more interesting.”</p><p>“You know, I don’t feel like having a showdown with dumbfounded civilians or shinobi after a long shift.”  Sakura lifted amused green eyes to his face, searching his smirking expression.  “Maybe another time.”</p><p>Her hands lingered another moment beneath his before pulling back.  Sakura folded her arms as she regarded Orochimaru in the shadows.  <em>I’m too comfortable with him</em>, she realized as she raised her brows at him.  His golden irises caught the sienna evening light, and when she felt her pulse flutter at his easy smile, she took another step back.  <em>What… was that?</em></p><p>Throwing her thoughts a different direction, Sakura remembered her reports that were in a two-dimensional cloud across the street between them.  She adjusted her stance to look firmly disapproving as she narrowed her eyes at Orochimaru.  “Tell me you’re not going to make me strain my sore back to pick up the papers <em>you</em> made me drop.”</p><p>His crooked smirk deepened.  “Of course not, Sakura-chan.”  He held her eyes with his as he reached out his hand toward the ground, making no move to bend or otherwise shift from his confident stance.  Sakura’s eyes flicked to his white outstretched fingers as Orochimaru’s hand grew and stretched oddly out from his wrist, extending all the way to the ground with a snakelike waggle as he easily picked up the reports; her wide eyes watched as he neatly stacked them in his slender fingers, and his hand withdrew back to correct proportions.  Then he handed them to her, long-sleeved arm crossing the small gap between them.</p><p>Sakura blinked down at the papers and then up at his face.  Upon seeing his expectant expression, she laughed.</p><p>“I had completely forgotten you could do that… you weirdo.”  Sakura took the papers and shook her head as she found herself stepping back toward him, her other hand reaching out and tugging at his open collar, bringing herself back to an intimate distance; Orochimaru’s slitted pupils flared as his smirk grew playfully dangerous, white teeth flashing in the burnt-orange light.  “That’s no way to talk to me, now is it?”  </p><p>Sakura grinned as she carded her fingers through his silky black hair.  “What are you going to do about it?”</p><p>Orochimaru hummed in his throat as he bent his head, pressing a kiss to her neck, and Sakura tilted her head to allow him access.  She breathed in his clean lime-eucalyptus scent, closing her eyes and enjoying the feel of him near her as his lips moved slowly across her throat and along her shoulder, gently prying back part of her dark red vest to allow him more access to her bare skin.  Her mind wandered as her skin tingled pleasantly beneath his mouth; she breathed in slowly, savoring the moment as her hand moved down his shoulder and around his back.</p><p>She yelped when he bit down, his warm tongue laving against her skin as he left a mark before withdrawing.  Sakura groaned as she nudged his jaw with her nose, glaring up at his mischievous grin.  “I’m the one who has to deal with healing those, you know.  You leave too many marks.”</p><p>“I leave marks,” Orochimaru replied, his iridescent eyes contracting, “because you are mine.”  Before Sakura could respond he pressed his lips against hers, his fingers tightening around her head and his other hand slipping down around her waist, and she sighed into his angry kiss.  Her free hand curled around his back; she felt the smoldering heat where their fronts pressed together, and her thoughts darkened with the possibilities of how this impromptu meeting could continue.</p><p>When she felt her heart throb oddly at the way his lips slowed on hers, becoming tender, Sakura abruptly pulled back, her hand withdrawing to subconsciously clutch over her heart as she pressed the papers against her shirt.  Her eyes ducked from his as she blushed bright red.  “‘Maru… I need sleep.  I’ll see you later.”  She tensed slightly after using her mental nickname for him aloud, glancing back at him as she retreated from the alley to see his reaction.</p><p>Orochimaru was smiling crookedly with folded arms, and his eyes followed her with an unnatural glow in the darkness.  Sakura wondered if she had developed high blood pressure issues recently as she made her way down the street toward her apartment, her heartbeat slowing gradually beneath her hand on her chest.</p><p> </p><p><em>We’re not serious.</em>  Sakura reassured herself with the thought as she unlocked her apartment door and stepped inside, running a hand through her hair and trying to relax as her stress levels slowly rose.  Her conversation with Ino earlier had successfully escaped her subconscious and imploded in her mind, splattering doubt all over her pleasant evening and souring her mood.  Sakura cursed aloud as she tossed her keys on the counter and pinned her coat onto the wall rack.  She reinforced her resolve as she unconsciously felt the fresh mark on her shoulder with light fingers.  <em>We are absolutely not serious and never will be.</em></p><p>Sakura sighed as she poured herself a glass of cold water.  She sipped it as she walked toward the coffee table in the center of her living room, sinking into the couch.  She winced at the poking of something in her pants pocket; confusion brought her fingers into the pocket, and she tugged out the sharp thing, suspending it in the air in front of her.</p><p>A dull gold key, slightly jagged from where it had been recently cut.  There was no note with it, no label, but she knew what it was.  Sakura stared at it in disbelief, holding it gingerly like it was the edge of a poisoned blade.  </p><p><em>He must have slipped this into my pocket when we were in the alley earlier. </em> Her heart began to thrash like it was attempting to escape her chest.  <em>Does this mean...</em></p><p>She could hear Ino already squealing in her head, and Sakura set the key onto the glass coffee table as she leaned forward on her knees and buried her face in her hands.  She didn’t expect the tears that came on, her friend’s imagined glee stamping all over her earlier resolve and giving rise to a settled realization.  <em>We are absolutely serious.</em>  Sakura felt like dancing and sobbing at the same time.</p><p>“I’m going to kill him,” she said aloud as she took the key again and strode toward the kitchen counter.  She cursed as she found herself attaching it onto her keychain, and she threw it back onto the counter as she turned and walked into her bathroom.  <em>The key doesn’t strictly mean anything,</em> Sakura assured herself, <em>it’s probably just a gesture of convenience, just a physical iteration of ‘you are welcome back here anytime’.</em>  She twisted her hands in her clothes with her thoughts as she shut the bathroom door behind her, staring herself in the mirror with exhausted and accusatory eyes as she undressed.</p><p>Her skin gleamed with sweat from the long shift and her eyes trailed down the motley scatterings of fang-pricked hickeys that led down her neck and sides, around her chest, down her legs.  Sakura closed her eyes and gave a slow exhale.  Her mind conflicted with itself -- she remembered every moment that Orochimaru had given her those marks, and she remembered the pleasure of it -- but she also hated that she liked it, and hated it now as she stood before the mirror and looked upon the sheer amount of dark bruises across her body.  His claims to her were so starkly visual that it shook her mind, the thought from earlier falling back out.  <em>We are absolutely serious.</em>  Its resounding finality was further deepened with her knowledge that she hadn’t healed away his marks because she <em>wanted</em> them.</p><p> She swerved from the mirror, her stomach lurching with her anxiety as she turned on the bath tap and drew a full tub of water.  Sakura stared unseeingly into the glimmering water as the level rose and the tears on her face began to dry.</p><p>When she immersed herself into the hot water, she tipped her head back against the cold wall and focused on having slow, even breaths.  Her heartbeat slowed, and she felt her muscles beginning to unknot and relax as she eased her stress, letting it melt away with the steaming bath water.  She reached up with closed eyes and grabbed her shampoo bottle; she squirted some into her palm.  It wasn’t until she lathered it into her hair that she smelled its scent - lime and eucalyptus, the spare shampoo of Orochimaru’s that had found its way into her apartment’s shower shelf with his frequent visits.</p><p>Sakura rinsed her hair into the water quickly, feeling the tears coming back.  <em>I’m very upset,</em> she realized as she washed away the scents into the water, her fingers tightly curled into her wet hair.  <em>Why?  What am I so afraid of?</em></p><p>She remembered how her heart had beat jaggedly in her chest earlier with Orochimaru.  She hadn’t wanted to think about why her pulse rose when she was around him - she had always assumed that her racing blood when she was with him was caused purely by lust at this point in their three months of meet-ups - but something as simple as his crooked smirk could affect her now.  Sakura’s brow creased as she sunk further into the warm water, the scents of the shampoo soothing and stressing her simultaneously.  <em>Don’t tell me I’m…</em> Sakura stopped the thought.  <em>No.  I refuse to think the word.  We are nothing but partners in a purely physical dance.</em></p><p>Sakura took another few minutes to soak before stepping out of the tub and drying off with a towel.  She drained the water and padded into her bedroom, sinking into the sheets and listening to the quiet of her apartment.  As she awaited sleep, a memory floated up from her mind and took over her senses.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>When Sakura emerged from the bedroom, wrapped in a long white towel, she saw Orochimaru hunched over on the floor in the living room with his back to her.  He was in a half-sit with one knee on the floor, dark hair falling forward.  Her chest clenched as she rushed over, concern filling her as she laid a gentle hand on his shoulder over his loose robe.  “Are you all right?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When he didn’t immediately reply, Sakura bent onto the carpet next to him, and it was then she saw what he was doing.  Orochimaru’s pet-companion, a long and slightly translucent white serpent, was curled in his hands; he was easing his hand up its neck and down its side, and she saw with decreasing concern and increasing curiosity that he was helping it shed its film of old skin in favor of the healthy, gleaming white skin beneath.  It had been freed of most of it already, but there was a layer over its head and neck that seemed to be stuck, and his long pale fingers were gentle as he caressed the small and sensitive scales with practiced ease.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She had never seen anything like this before.  Since her time with Orochimaru recently, her dislike of snakes had lessened, and she found herself feeling neutral toward the serpent in his hands.  Sakura’s voice was quieter as she spoke again, fingers curling lightly around his shoulder.  “Is he okay?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Orochimaru’s golden eye met hers from the side under his silky black strands of hair.  “Are you genuinely interested?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She blinked back at him, noticing the seriousness in his gaze, and she settled on her knees beside him.  “Yes.”  She crossed her hands in her lap and gave him an attentive look as she straightened her back, glancing down at the snake in an indication for him to continue; Orochimaru’s responding smile touched his eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She watched as he dipped his fingers into a bowl of warm water that was next to him on the floor, and he gently rubbed a thin layer of moisture along the snake’s head and upper body where the half-shed skin was still clinging.  Orochimaru matched Sakura’s quiet manner as he commented on what he was doing.  “It’s too dry in this apartment for him; sometimes he doesn’t shed quite as easily as normal.”  They both kept their eyes trained on the serpent as his hand moved along its upper body.  “He will be perfectly fine.  I am just easing his discomfort.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>With the light friction, the shedding skin began to come loose, and Sakura watched as Orochimaru gently peeled away part of it.  All that remained was a light film over its head and eyes, and he held the white serpent out toward Sakura, watching her carefully to see how she would react.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She frowned down at the snake with quiet trepidation, her tentative hands hefting its surprisingly heavy weight.  The snake moved its head toward her, and she stilled as it watched her curiously, its long form relaxed in her hands.  Tentatively, she lifted one hand and traced an experimental finger along its side; her green eyes widened at the glossy, smooth feel of its scales, and though its skin was initially cool to her touch, it warmed beneath her fingertip.  The rest of her fingers descended as she stroked its side, and the snake lifted its head slowly; she watched it move, remembering what it needed as her gaze touched on the translucent film over its face.  Supporting its weight carefully with her arms, she lifted her other hand from where she had been caressing its side and gingerly touched the last piece of film over its eye and head.  It held still for her as she dipped her fingers in the warm water and gently rubbed at the loosening skin; it unstuck from the new skin beneath, and with two fingers Sakura lightly pulled away the film.  It lifted cleanly away from the snake’s head like a veil, revealing light iridescent gold eyes that were set on her as she set the shed skin aside.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The snake’s head descended toward her arm, and Sakura watched as it rested its head gently against her skin, its small eyes dilating as it relaxed its weight on her.  She smiled softly down at it, running an affectionate finger along the pure white scales of its head and down its back.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She looked up slowly.  Orochimaru was watching her with a slight smile; his golden eyes burned with an intensity that made her heart burn in her chest.  She felt a shy urge to relinquish his snake back to him, but felt it curl slowly up her arm, her skin tingling where it ascended; it moved up her shoulder and then slowly across the back of her neck, relaxing around her like a scarf.  It tightened its hold around her warm neck enough to hold on but not so tight that it constricted her, and she felt it bump its head against her throat as it rested once more, small snake-tongue flicking out in a yawn.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Orochimaru’s smile widened at his snake’s apparent ease, golden eyes flicking between her and his pet.  Sakura was transfixed by the intensity of his gaze, and she swallowed as she tried to right her thoughts from the racing of her heart.  She reached up and touched the snake that had curled around her, blushing red.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Hn.  He likes you.”  Orochimaru got to his feet, offering Sakura a white hand, and she took it; he helped her to her feet.  He aligned his hand with her face, thumb lingering on her cheek a moment before he turned to pad barefoot into the kitchen; she watched him as he began to prepare coffee, and with a smile Sakura lifted a hand to the warmth in her chest.  She turned toward the window, one hand lifting to pet his companion around her shoulders as she gazed out at the sunny morning.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Unconsciously Sakura stroked along the smooth scales of the snake’s long snow-white body as she looked out upon the multicolored sunlit rooftops of Konoha, listening absentmindedly to the sounds of Orochimaru’s quiet humming and tinkering in the kitchen behind her.  Her mind and body spun pleasantly; affection and contentment flowed through her like liquid fire from her mind and heart to the soles of her feet.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>As Sakura blinked her eyes open from the memory, a tugging to seek out and relive that deep contentment with him made itself distinct in her mind.  She remembered the key that awaited her on her kitchen counter, calling her to seek Orochimaru out, and already her heart pulsed in her ears.</p><p>Tears ran fresh down her cheeks as Sakura shoved a pillow over her face.  <em>I’m falling in love,</em> she realized, and the thought brought her horror that stilled her breath and made her fingers curl tightly into the fabric of the pillow as the word tortured her mind in circles.</p><p><em>I can’t fall in love with someone like him.</em>  She raked in a breath.  <em>I can’t.</em></p><p>When she smelled his familiar scents in the white linen pillowcase, she threw it and pressed her face into her mattress, trying unsuccessfully to banish the warring emotions in her head and heart.  She did not sleep for the rest of the night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. reflections, part I</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>*Note to returning readers, chapter one has been 75% rewritten.  Worth checking out, it's much cleaner and more detailed than it was previously :)<br/>(and thank you for returning)<br/>enjoy, I felt that this story needed more development pre-chapter 4, so here we are.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>flashback: three months previously</em>
</p>
<p>Making her way to meet Orochimaru for their first planned dalliance was one of the most nerve-wracking things Sakura had ever done.</p>
<p>His invitation had been elegantly simple; a map, black-inked on a small scroll that was slipped into the crook of her apartment door.  She had discovered it upon returning home late one evening after her shift, and she had stared at it a long moment before picking it up gingerly and taking it with her before entering her dark home.  She slammed the door behind her as she unrolled it, delving her attention through its contents.</p>
<p>There was a neatly brushed X on the map that told her which hideout he would be in.  It was marking a spot she vaguely recognized not far outside of Konoha.  Sakura pressed a hand to the small lift of her lips at his odd way of inviting her.  She felt both dread and excitement pulsing through her blood as she tucked the scroll into her nearby bookshelf and sat on the edge of her couch, running her hands through her hair.  <em>When?</em> she thought.  <em>Does Orochimaru expect me to drop everything and go now?</em></p>
<p>Sakura had just ended another fourteen-hour long shift at the hospital and every inch of her ached.  She had been planning on having a glass of whiskey and reading some medical texts on the mitral and tricuspid valves of the heart’s upper chambers until she fell asleep.  She had not expected Orochimaru to contact her quite yet; her body still reverberated from their rendezvous in the forest three days prior.  Her cheeks stained red with the memories as she ran a hand through her blush-colored hair and stared at the scroll sitting in her shelf.  <em>If I don’t go now, am I rejecting his invitation?  Should I even go?</em></p>
<p>She asked herself those questions several more times as she got to her feet, undressing and showering before pulling on darker, more slim-fitting clothes and tying back her hair.  She was pulling on her boots when she halted, staring down at her fingers on her laces like she’d lost control of her own actions.  <em>This is a terrible idea.  I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t.</em></p>
<p>His map scrawled across her mind again, black lines blurring across her doubts.  Sakura imagined Orochimaru smirking as he sent someone to shove the scroll into her door with the full expectation that she would immediately come to him after discovering it.  He was certainly waiting for her there now as she sat and debated, and the thought of his smugness was almost enough for Sakura to kick off her boots and go to bed.</p>
<p>But she knew, as she tied the bow and got to her feet, that she wanted to go.  To have something exciting in her life at all was enthralling and new; to have anything that thrilled her was refreshing, and she knew that she wanted to taste that dangerous pleasure again regardless of her doubts and her exhaustion.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It had taken Sakura a half hour of running through the forest until she neared the X in her mental map.  She slowed to a trot, her adrenaline muting to a throb in her core as she regained her breath, brushing away the sweat from her brow and looking around the dark trees with uncertainty.  She had never been to this hideout of his; she’d heard of it and passed it before, but that was years ago during the Fourth Shinobi War, and she hadn’t paid any mind to it.  Sakura wished she had thought to bring his map and kicked herself as she walked quietly beneath the breeze-touched black tree canopy, her lithe form criss-crossed with broken silver shadows as she went.</p>
<p>Sakura was beginning to wonder if she was lost when she sensed a familiar chakra signature nearby.</p>
<p>Masking her own signature instinctively as she approached, Sakura leapt up into a nearby tree so that she could look down at whomever she had sensed.  Peering through the moonlit leaves, she spotted Yamato standing guard outside of a cave that jutted out of a small mountain that emerged from the forest into the night.</p>
<p>“Shit,” Sakura cursed softly under her breath.  She had forgotten that Orochimaru was under near-constant surveillance by Leaf shinobi, tailed at all times as part of the post-war conditions allowing him to wander freely and peacefully.  She flushed red as she wondered how he had thrown off his surveillance when he had come to her in the forest earlier that week, and she made a mental note to corner him about it once she had figured out how to get past Yamato.</p>
<p>Sakura sunk deeper into the leaves of the softly rustling oak tree when she saw Yamato look around with bored but sharp eyes, his distant figure leaning up against the side of the cave entrance.  She prayed he had not seen her.  She didn’t know what sort of legitimate excuse she would have to be visiting one of Orochimaru’s hideouts on her own at all, let alone at this time of night, and Sakura wracked her brain for a good lie should he spot her.  Seeking information about an enemy he once knew?  Asking about the history or whereabouts of an extremely rare or forbidden medical ingredient or jutsu?  She knew that they were shaky excuses without detailed information to back them up, and Sakura hoped fervently that her stealth skills were enough to somehow get past Yamato without needing to use her flimsy cover story ideas.</p>
<p><em>Perhaps there’s a secondary entrance.</em>  Sakura scanned the rocky crags of the small mountainside, finding no obvious other openings.  <em>Orochimaru knew he had a guard tailing him.  He knew I’d have to get past Yamato.  Couldn’t he have made a note on his map of a secret way to get in and save me the trouble?</em>  She gripped the branch that she was balancing on as her annoyance rose.  <em>I should go home just to spite him.</em></p>
<p>Keeping her chakra masked, Sakura flitted across the treetops just out of Yamato’s sight, keeping her eyes on him as she zig-zagged her way through the whispering trees and closer to the craggy entrance that he guarded.  When he looked into the opposite direction that Sakura perched from, she took her chance, becoming a blur as she soared through the air and landed gracefully atop the cave.  She made no sound as she settled into the rocks and underbrush, green eyes fixed intently on Yamato as she waited to make sure he had not sensed her.  <em>If I can fine-tune my chakra just right… I’ll make my own entrance into this cave, and I’ll accomplish it silently.</em></p>
<p>“Hello?”  She heard Yamato’s boots crunch in the dirt a stone’s throw beneath her.  Sakura held her breath.  His senses were as sharp as ever, and she avoided voicing her curses as she moved not so much as a single eyelash, sitting more rigidly than the rocks she perched on.  <em>Don’t sense me.  Don’t sense me.  For the love of all that is holy don’t sense me.</em></p>
<p>“You there.”</p>
<p>Sakura closed her eyes slowly, remaining where she was with her last shred of hope that he was talking to someone else.</p>
<p>“I see you in the bushes… come on out.”</p>
<p>Thinking quickly, Sakura focused, and using henge ninjutsu she altered her physical appearance.  From the bushes stepped a dark-haired girl with bright ochre eyes and tan skin; with a theatrical sigh she leapt down from the rocky bushes and boulders above the cave and down near Yamato.  Though he appeared calm as Sakura brushed herself off, focusing hard on maintaining her henge, she could see how he was tensed where he stood with one hand hovering over his kunai and dark eyes narrowed.</p>
<p>“Yamato-taichou.”  The familiar greeting was already out of Sakura’s mouth before she could catch herself.  She winced at her slip, and he stared at her with increasing interest.  “Who are you and why are you here?”</p>
<p>Sakura took in a breath as she came up with a random combination of names.  “Yua Saito.  I’m here to deliver a message to Orochimaru-sama, which is rather urgent.  Now, if you’ll excuse me…”</p>
<p>“I know you,” Yamato commented casually, folding his arms as he apparently sensed no danger from her.  “I don’t remember your face but I know you from somewhere.  Yua… hmm.”</p>
<p>Under Yamato’s scrutiny, Sakura felt sweat beading on the back of her neck.  There were a lot of reasons he had become captain long ago and his intelligence and observational skills were among them.  She didn’t doubt that he was seeing through her lies easily, and it wouldn’t be long until he recognized that she was wearing a henge.  Sakura was again quietly furious at Orochimaru for not warning her about Yamato - but she also knew that he trusted her to handle getting past him.</p>
<p>Yamato stepped toward her, and Sakura backed toward the cave entrance with an uneasy smile.  “What’s your message?”</p>
<p>“I don’t want to tell ---”</p>
<p>“Any message he receives from unknown parties has to go through us, particularly me at this moment.  What is the message.”  Sakura’s eyes widened at his sharpening tone; she had never been spoken to by Yamato with anything less than courtesy, and she reminded herself that she was disguised as she answered him.  “I’m here on behalf of --- a medical ninja.  I’m asking about a rare healing jutsu that Orochimaru-sama may have intel on.  It’s rather urgent, like I said, and I can’t stand here and chat long, taichou ---”</p>
<p>“At this hour?  And how do you know me, Yua-chan?  Are you from the Leaf?”</p>
<p>Sakura stood more confidently, eager to get on with this and escape into the dark cave behind her.  “Yes, I’m a chūnin and apprentice.  I’ve heard of who you are before, Yamato-taichou, who hasn’t?”</p>
<p>The shadows caught in his face as he gave her an intimidating look, expressing that he knew she was lying, and Sakura grimaced as he spoke.  “Which medic ninja are you here on behalf of?”</p>
<p>“Er --- Haruno… sama.”  Sakura felt exceedingly odd using such an honorific on her own name and she tried hard not to let how awkward she felt show as she withstood Yamato’s scrutiny.  She went for a verbal jab, hoping to push him into letting her pass.  “And she wouldn’t be pleased to know that you are delaying me in retrieving the vital information that she needs.  I’ll have to inform her if I go back empty-handed.”  Sakura made a face as if she were imagining her master’s rage.  She was secretly pleased to see that the veiled threat had an effect on Yamato, who raised his dark brows and twisted the corner of his lip at her words.  It seemed that the invisible threat of Sakura’s invoked rage was still enough to sway some of the most respected shinobi in Konoha.</p>
<p>But her secretly inflated ego was quickly punctured at the way his dark eyes hardened in a knowing way, and she took another step back toward the cave entrance as he spoke after a pause. “If I were to give Sakura-chan a quick call and verify your identity, would she confirm that you are who you say you are?”</p>
<p>Sakura inwardly screamed.  Her phone was in her pocket and the ringer was on.  If Yamato were to call her, it would ring loudly, and her entire gambit would be over with.  She gave a defeated sigh, hanging her head.  Letting go of her focus, she allowed her henge to fade; as her dark hair simmered into cherry-blossom pink and her eyes melted into green, she heard Yamato inhale sharply.  Sakura looked up at him with a glare.  “You have to be so damn thorough, Yamato-taichou.”</p>
<p>“Sakura-chan?!”  Yamato’s expression was stricken, and Sakura could not help but to laugh as she gave a sigh and tried to think of new excuses.  Her henge failing in front of him, him seeing her using henge at all, was a very large new problem.  Any excuses she might have had before were now blown to bits and she had no idea what she would tell him.</p>
<p>“So…?”  He was eyeing her with wide, curious eyes, and Sakura grimaced at him.  She didn’t have any excuses that would fly with someone as intelligent as Yamato.  “I’m here to see Orochimaru-sama and that’s all you need to know.”  Sakura hated using the -sama honorific on Orochimaru’s name, and this in itself bothered her; turning her green eyes from Yamato’s wide dark ones, Sakura shifted to stride into the cave.  She felt his hand on her arm gently stop her.  Sakura shot him an impatient and pleading look that she quickly reverted into neutrality, but she knew by the look of growing shock in his eyes that he had seen it.</p>
<p>“Sakura-chan…” Concern ruffled his even tone.  “What are you doing?”</p>
<p>She gave another defeated, withered sigh as she rubbed her palm on her forehead.  “I just… Yamato-taichou, I don’t want to explain… Dammit.”  Sakura recalled now that he was frequently assigned to tailing Orochimaru these days, and if she wanted to keep having their risky rendezvous she was going to keep encountering Yamato.  There was no use in lying to him about why she was here.  Sakura closed her eyes as her face burned and her shoulders slumped.  “He and I have… struck a deal, of sorts.  It’s voluntary, no coercion or blackmail, and I…” She gulped in a breath as she forced herself to go on.  “I might be back here sometimes, or --- in other places he goes.  Please don’t ask.  And please don’t tell anyone.”</p>
<p>At Yamato’s silence, Sakura cracked open an eye beneath her sweaty palms.  His face was oddly neutral, and she tensed as she watched him.  “Are you sure you’re all right, Sakura-chan?”  At the genuine care for her well-being that she heard in his voice, she relaxed slightly and gave a short laugh as she rubbed her hot cheeks.  “I’m quite all right.  Thank you.”</p>
<p>But she noticed the way Yamato’s neutral expression cracked at the edges, and she saw the questions in his eyes.  She knew those questions wouldn’t go away, and she narrowed her eyes at him.  “What…?”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, I have to ask… Sakura-chan, are you and Orochimaru---”</p>
<p>“Yes.”  She glowered at him.  “Anything else?”</p>
<p>Her blush sunk through her as Yamato’s neutral face crumbled into a comical, squished expression of disgust and surprise.  “<em>Really?</em>”</p>
<p>At the responding deadly look on Sakura’s face Yamato quickly reverted his expression and nodded to her.  “I suppose you can go ahead.”</p>
<p>“Damn right I can,” Sakura grumbled as she stormed past him into the cave mouth, calling back to him as she went.  “This is <em>not</em> a story you will be sharing with your buddies later.  I will find you, Yamato-taichou, and I will personally make sure that you regret it!”</p>
<p>His laugh echoed as she disappeared into the blackness of Orochimaru’s hideout at last.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The cave walls gave way to tall, lined pillars with stone snake-head sconces that flickered with dim yellow light.  Shadows clung and danced along the walls where the ceiling sloped and the floor stretched into smooth, expressionless stone.  It was occuring to Sakura what she was really doing now as she walked on her own in the near-darkness, deepened in her mind from having to half-admit it to Yamato.  Sneaking into the woods at night to meet secretly with Orochimaru in one of his hideouts was never something she thought she would consider, let alone do; this in itself was shocking enough without the fact that she was here to engage in a tryst with him.  Sakura felt numb with the thought as she walked, her heart pulsing harder under her fitted wine-red shirt and sweat dampening her collar.</p>
<p><em>What if it’s awkward?</em> she thought, shoving her hands in her slacks pockets and curling her sweaty hands into fists.  <em>What if the moment I see him I’ll truly understand how much of a terrible mistake this is and run screaming?</em></p>
<p>She was feeling mildly sick to her stomach with her rising apprehension.  Being brave and stupid enough to come here was a lot for her to chew; knowing that she was coming to him on her own this time, sober, was tripping up her mind and making her feel deeply insecure.  Beneath her adrenaline-pumped apprehension, however, she felt that same thrill that had drawn her to him in the first place - the lust for danger, for that taste of darkness that had thrown her from her dull emptiness and filled her with something more.</p>
<p>Sakura felt more confident as she returned her attention to the cavernous hall around her, slowing her step.  It occurred to her that he had not indicated where she should find him in this undoubtedly large hideout.  She supposed that she would have to wander until he found her.  The thought was both thrilling and unsettling to her at the same time, and Sakura unconsciously adjusted her suddenly too-hot clothes as she walked.</p>
<p>“So smooth, Sakura-chan.”</p>
<p>She stopped still in the middle of the hall, her boots clacking on the smooth floor as his familiar silky voice tingled in her ears.  Heart thundering like a drum, Sakura turned slowly toward where she had heard Orochimaru speak, and her attention fell upon a pair of golden eyes hidden in the shadow of a pillar against the wall.</p>
<p>She felt her apprehension melt away as she regarded his reclining form.  “You didn’t make that easy for me.”</p>
<p>“It only shows how determined you are.”  White teeth flashed in the dim light as he emerged from the dark, and Sakura appreciated Orochimaru’s appearance for a moment; his white yukata flowed down around his slender form, the teal shirt complimenting the lavender lines around his iridescent golden eyes.  He looked so <em>young</em>, his smooth white skin flickering with a healthy glow in the dim light, and she willed her heart to slow its increasing beats.  Sakura reminded herself that he was so youthful because of terrible past experiments and deeds; she willed herself to view him differently, but struggled to stop appreciating his physical beauty as he stepped toward her.</p>
<p>She reached out before she thought about it, her hand clasping lightly around the collar of his yukata, and his gaze lightened with amusement as she turned fully to face him.  Her hand lingered lightly before she pulled back.  “Perhaps,” Sakura quietly agreed at last, “but if I have to see Yamato’s reaction every time I come to find you…”</p>
<p>“Mm.”  Orochimaru moved ahead, slipping an arm around Sakura’s waist as he walked with her further into the dark of the hall.  She tentatively lifted her arm behind his back, wondering if she should mirror his gesture, but she decided against it; she stuck her hand back in her slacks pocket awkwardly.  When she caught the smirk on his face at her silent action Sakura nudged her elbow into his side, shooting him a glare that was tainted with her smile.  She didn’t notice as her worries from before melted away into increasing adrenaline as they walked together.</p>
<p>However, as the silence stretched on beyond their combined footfalls, Sakura didn’t know what to do with herself as they went.  The inevitable images of what they were about to do as well as memories of the things they had already done burned unshakably in her mind’s eye, making her blush and loose any traction she had on conversation ideas.  Orochimaru was thoughtfully quiet beside her, a slight upturn of his lips giving Sakura an impression that he was smug.  Though she was grateful that their silence wasn’t awkward, her building anticipation of what they would do next was making her thoughts and blood steam.  Would he sweep her aside and they would begin?  Would they dine first, regardless of the late hour, to have some semblance of a date?</p>
<p><em>Date.</em>  The word made Sakura want to laugh aloud.  <em>This isn’t a date.</em></p>
<p>She realized in a quick self-awareness check that she had dressed up as if it were.  She wore long black slacks and a fitted mauve top instead of her usual red vest and shorts; without thinking about it, she reached up and let down her hair.  It fell just beyond her shoulders in a light cascade of pink and magenta hues, her conditioned strands licked with the yellow-gold of the sconce-lights.  Sakura made her own smug smile as she caught Orochimaru eyeing her from the side from beneath his dark locks of hair.  She straightened her back as they walked, feeling a fresh wave of confidence.  <em>Whatever happens, whatever this is, I’m enjoying it.  I haven’t felt good like this in a long time.</em></p>
<p>She felt his hand on her lower back twitch, and Sakura glanced at Orochimaru.  “What’s your plan?”</p>
<p>He raised a slim brow at her as she reddened.  “What do you think?”</p>
<p>“I have no idea what you have planned.”</p>
<p>“Mm.”</p>
<p>Sakura narrowed her eyes up at him.  “Tell me it’s at least kind of normal.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”  He feigned offense, lifting a pale hand to his chest.  “Are you trying to imply I don’t know what I’m doing?”</p>
<p>“Yes, exactly that,” Sakura accused, folding her arms.  “I’m hoping you aren’t planning on shoving me in a test-tube and doing experiments.”</p>
<p>Orochimaru narrowed his sharp golden eyes at her; Sakura wondered if she had genuinely offended him, but she pressed on, gaining a catlike smile as she teased him.  “Oh, did I just ruin your date plans?”  The word <em>date</em> echoed between them and she caught how his slitted pupils widened.</p>
<p>He bent toward her then, slowing his walk to a stop, and her heart thundered at the way his eyes glowed unnaturally in the dark with a dangerous edge.  “You like trying to provoke me, don’t you, Sakura-chan?”  Orochimaru’s tone lowered to a purr and his hand on her back gripped the fabric of her shirt.  “Perhaps I’ll make some changes and do as you suggested instead.”</p>
<p>“Try me,” Sakura shot back, stepping closer to him.  “You don’t scare me.”</p>
<p>“Oh?”  His eyes flashed, and in an instant she found herself pressed against the hallway wall.  Orochimaru’s hands slid up her underarms and pinned her wrists up by her head as he settled his weight against hers; Sakura’s fierce glare widened as he bent his mouth to hers, claiming her lips roughly.  She groaned as his tongue swirled around hers.  A thrill of adrenaline surged through her at their situation and she rolled her hips against his; he growled into her mouth as his tongue slid deeper, and Sakura choked as he dominated her mouth and throat with his long tongue.  She swung her legs around and pressed her weight against his lap; he lifted her up higher on the wall, and he released her wrists.  She pulled her arms around his shoulders as desire consumed her from within; his tongue retreated to tangle with hers again.  Her hand slipped from his cool shoulder down his yukata until she gripped the hardness where her weight rested, and Orochimaru gasped into her mouth at her sudden and grasping touch.  Abruptly he pulled back, and Sakura gave a disappointed huff as she adjusted to stand on her own two legs; she glared at him questioningly.</p>
<p>He was somewhat out of breath, and Sakura’s glare softened into a satisfied smirk as her blood raced.  Orochimaru chuckled as he shook his head, adjusting a mussed lock of black hair; when he opened his eyes, he regarded Sakura with a warmth that disarmed her teasing and made her look away with a blush.  “You’re terrible at being patient, Sakura-chan.”</p>
<p>She kicked at the smooth floor.  “So?”</p>
<p>“We were almost there.”</p>
<p>“Then show me the way,” Sakura answered, and Orochimaru’s hand descended to her back as he led her further into the dark; a few paces forward and they stood at a dark and tall door.  Sakura’s heart thudded in her chest as she looked to him with wide eyes.  “I’d thought you would want to resume our usual activities somewhere more comfortable than a wall.”  Sakura’s pulse throbbed throughout her body as he opened the door and ushered her through, following her and shutting it behind them.</p>
<p>She found that she was disappointed as she looked around and Orochimaru moved ahead of her.  The room was simple and drab, a queen bed in its center with a plain wooden nightstand and a small bathroom to the side.  The same smooth stone made up the walls, ceiling, and floor; twin sconces lit the air above the bed, casting that soft yellow glow across the bare room.</p>
<p>“I’m not sure what I expected,” Sakura murmured aloud as Orochimaru began to untie his yukata, slipping off his sandals and kicking them aside.  She stood with her arms folded as he undressed, and when he tugged away his teal shirt and revealed his toned, slim upper body, her mouth went dry.</p>
<p>He turned, giving Sakura a quizzical look as he stood in his simple loose dark blue pants.  Sakura’s eyes moved hungrily across the planes of his chest and along his form before she met his eyes.  His golden eyes were dark, inviting, and she swallowed as she shifted where she stood, keeping her arms tightly folded over her chest.  “Well?” Orochimaru said, blinking at her and her still-clothed body.</p>
<p>Sakura’s frown was her response and he tilted his head.  “Is something wrong?”</p>
<p>“Sure, this is more comfortable than a wall, but… you didn’t have anything else planned?”</p>
<p>He matched her posture, folding his arms and raising a single brow.  “I was not aware of any expectations beyond sex, Sakura-chan.”</p>
<p>She flushed rose-red at the blunt word, and she gave him an indignant scowl as she gestured out at the room.  “You couldn’t have like… decorated… or dressed up… or maybe had dinner out… or at least alcohol?”</p>
<p>“Hn.”  Orochimaru’s smile was wicked.  “You didn’t need any of those things to be interested in me last time.”</p>
<p>“Ugh!”  Sakura threw her hands in the air and then settled them on her hips, giving him a stern look.  “So you just expected me to get down and dirty with you right away, with no semblance or even <em>vague</em> attempt of any date-like… things?  I’m not that easy.”</p>
<p>The way Orochimaru raised both eyebrows at her made Sakura hiss, stomping toward him with clenched fists.  She paused at the heat between them when she drew close, her eyes delving along the way the dim light painted his smooth skin.  Her nose tingled with his scents and she exhaled sharply as she focused on her anger, returning her green eyes to his golden ones.  “I swear, either you’re insulting me with this or you just don’t know what you’re doing.”</p>
<p>“I should remind you that you had no problem with having sex against a wall just a few moments ago.”</p>
<p>Wincing at his second blunt use of the word, Sakura hmmphed as she sat back on the bed.  “That doesn’t count.  That was just a warmup.”  She thought for another moment while Orochimaru’s smile fell.  “<em>Do</em> you know what you’re doing?” Sakura asked him, looking up at him curiously.  “Have you ever actually dated anyone?”</p>
<p>He blinked at her oddly with annoyance in the edges of his yellow-gold irises.  “We’re not here to talk.”  He stepped toward her, standing between her legs and bending to kiss her as his hands pulled through her hair.  Sakura swatted away his hands and leaned away from him onto the bed.  “We are, to start.  I’m not just going to spread my legs for you.  Indulge me… we’ll see where we go from there.”  She patted the empty space on the bed next to her, and Orochimaru remained where he loomed over her, eyeing her with an irked glare.  “Sakura-chan…”</p>
<p>A spark of fury glittered in Sakura’s green eyes.  “Or we can spar and inevitably destroy this room and a chunk of this place with it.  I’m fine with that.  I’ll take you on, anytime.”</p>
<p>He paused at her words, eyes widening slightly, and with a quiet chuckle he stood up and then sat down with a sigh beside her.  Folding his arms, Orochimaru turned his slightly tired gaze back to Sakura.  “No.  I haven’t.”</p>
<p>Sakura adjusted to sit cross-legged on the covers, staring at him.  “Really?”</p>
<p>He looked away with a frown.  Sakura continued to ogle him, beginning to redden again as her voice softened.  “The great and terrible Orochimaru of the forbidden knowledges <em>doesn’t know</em> something?”  His frown darkened into a scowl as she went on, and Sakura coughed with her rising embarrassment.  “Then… then… how did you know how to…”</p>
<p>His scowl dissipated as he perked up, looking at her with amusement, and Sakura was the one to look away now as she smoldered.  She remembered his devilish tongue all too well.  It was partly the reason she had come back here, had braved through her doubts and anxiety to seek him out after his invitation.  Orochimaru had known <em>exactly</em> what he was doing with her for both of their rendezvous and her body remembered his every touch.  Sakura’s mouth tightened as he watched her.  “You might be able to cut-and-dry explain your thoughts,” she went on, “but I’m not able to, Orochimaru… sama?” She eyed him, thoughts derailing a moment as she considered again how <em>-sama</em> felt wrong now in conjunction with his name.  It felt too intimate to drop honorifics with him entirely; <em>-kun</em> wasn’t right either, as he was still older and more experienced than her as a sannin, and <em>-chan</em> as a lover made her shudder.  “I no longer know what to call you,” Sakura mused, and Orochimaru raised his eyebrows at her.  “You’re changing the subject.”</p>
<p>“Well, so were you.”</p>
<p>“I know how to please you, Sakura-chan, because in one of my past vessels I was a woman.  I understand your body.”</p>
<p>Sakura turned a shade of purple that nearly matched his eye-markings as she looked away again, her mind spinning oddly with this information.  She had known that Orochimaru had changed genders once or twice over the decades, though he was now male once more.  She hadn't previously had reason to think about the kinds of knowledge he might have gained from those experiences.</p>
<p>She ran a hand through the sweat-dampened hair on the back of her neck as she tried to refocus her attention on why she had started this conversation.  “I, uh, that makes sense.  Anyway… so… you really don’t know what you’re doing.”</p>
<p>His glare narrowed at her.  “I just told you ---”</p>
<p>“No, no, with <em>dating.</em>”</p>
<p>“Is that what we are doing?”</p>
<p>Sakura choked on her thoughts as she looked over at Orochimaru with huge eyes, his question repeating in her head.  <em>Is that what we are doing?</em></p>
<p>She swallowed as he observed her morphing expressions.  <em>Dating Orochimaru?  No way in hell.  But how do I explain what I mean otherwise?</em></p>
<p>Sakura took in a deep breath and willed herself to continue, her skin prickling from Orochimaru’s intense gaze.  “Erm… well… sort of?  Dammit, all I’m trying to say is that you have to ---”</p>
<p>At his questioning look, Sakura buried her face in her hands.  She had not expected that she was going to have to educate Orochimaru on how to court a woman properly.  Every man she’d known already knew what a traditional date setup looked like; they knew the common expectations, like the dinner and a movie date classic or at least some sort of decor like flowers or music to accompany intended activities.  Even casual hookups involved some sort of consideration like dinner and drinks as far as Sakura knew.  She shook her head at the image of Orochimaru in a suit over dinner that bubbled up in her head, her core tingling as she shoved it back into the pool of her subconscious.  <em>We’re not dating.  Not dating.  He was right not to do those things, as this is not a date.</em></p>
<p>As Orochimaru’s hand tapped impatiently on the blankets in front of her, slender fingers gleaming with a slight yellow hue in the dim room, Sakura remembered that he had admitted to not dating before.  It both pleased her and unsettled her, and it struck her as so silly and yet so serious at the same time.  She decided it must be true; she couldn’t think of a reason he’d lie to her about that.  There were likely good reasons he had never bothered with courting; considering his extensive criminal history, he had been clearly interested in other pursuits.</p>
<p>“What changed?”</p>
<p>“Hmm?”  Orochimaru blinked at her, clearly bored with waiting, and she watched him with a serious expression.  “If you’ve never bothered with this kind of thing before, what inspired you to try it with me?”</p>
<p>“There are reasons.”  His hand crept from the blanket to her leg, tracing upwards slowly to splay along her jaw; Sakura tipped her head back as his fingers moved across to take her chin, tipping her face toward his.  Her skin tingled madly where Orochimaru touched and Sakura was losing her resolve to talk anymore as her body burned to draw closer to him.  His golden eyes pierced her green ones as he smiled at her, pulling close enough to hover an inch over her.  “Was this enough talking to satisfy your need to do so?”</p>
<p>“You didn’t answer me,” Sakura murmured as he leaned ever closer, black hair shifting around his face and tickling across her face and neck.  “There will be more times to talk.”  Orochimaru’s lips grazed hers, and her mouth opened slightly as he exhaled slowly.  She breathed in his cool metallic and mint smells; she blinked at the change.  “You smell different.”</p>
<p>“Observant.”  He kissed her, his lips edged with his desirous impatience, and her hands slipped around his head as she responded with warmth.  Her hands trailed down his sides and tugged him to her.  Orochimaru’s hand pressed into her chest, shifting Sakura to lay back on the bed; she shifted her long legs to curl around his sides as he laid atop her, smiling into her lips.</p>
<p>“This conversation,” Sakura sighed as his hands tugged her shirt up over her head, “Isn’t over.  I’m going to make sure you know how to properly ---” She inhaled sharply as his fingers tugged at her bra, pulling it away, and she tilted her head back into the pillows with a pleased sigh, “--- court someone instead of just ---” Orochimaru pressed his open lips to her bared chest, mouth moving slowly downward as his hands teased down her slacks from her waist, “--- seducing ---”</p>
<p>Sakura let out a moan as his grin descended further, and verbal conversations turned purely physical for the rest of the night.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. reflections, part II</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>One or two more Reflections chapters to come.  Thank you all for your patience and kind words so far, it helps more than you know!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Detail note for returning readers: Chapter four edit -- it's been six months, not three.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A cool sigh woke Sakura, and she woke abruptly at the instinctual realization that she was not alone.  Her blood pulsed; she reached out for the kunai she keeps near her bed, her fight instincts boiling within her.  Blinking in the dim light of the room, she fought away her exhaustion in favor of keeping her eyes open as she turned her head to the side, her grasping fingers unsuccessful in finding her kunai but hitting lightly along warm skin.</p>
<p>Inches away from her was that pale face under a black spray of hair -- lavender tracing along his eyelids and ending sharply at his nose.  Sakura held in a breath as she remembered both the night before as well as the first time she had woken beside Orochimaru, and exhaled slowly as she tried to relax from being startled awake.  It took her another moment to quell her instinct to defend herself as she remembered he was not here to hurt her, and she closed her eyes in the dark.</p>
<p>She grew more aware of her own body as she calmed down.  Her head was sunken into a wide and plain pillow; the sheets were twisted and stretched between herself and Orochimaru, and her legs were tangled with his.  His pale white arm rested in the small space between them against the mattress.</p>
<p>As she slowly woke fully, Sakura was distracted by the pale arm.  Her gaze trailed along the black markings that spiraled like inky bracelets down his upper arm and ended before they met his elbow.  She reached over and touched the tattoos lightly with medic’s hands, curious but gentle fingers following the black spirals, and she felt his bicep tense slightly at her touch; at the slight glow of gold in the dark mess of black hair near her, Sakura moved her attention back to Orochimaru’s face.  </p>
<p>Gilded, luminescent eyes watched her with the slight squint of sleepiness, and she felt her inner conflicts rise to the foreground as she met his gaze, her mind wandering into the dark ochre detailing the edges of his irises where they met his impossibly dark slitted pupils.  Sakura slipped her eyes back to his arm, seeking distraction once more as her chest clenched.  “Your… summoning tattoos?” She allowed her hand to remain where it was, thoughtful thumb tracing the markings, and he shifted to watch her more fully as he propped his head up on his elbow.  “Yes.”</p>
<p>Sakura felt distant memories stir.  <em>The sannins’ summons: Katsuyu, Gamabunta and…</em> “Manda?”  She loosened her already light hold on Orochimaru’s arm, remembering the gigantic serpent that had once been his summons.  It was slain years ago, but these tattoos remained.</p>
<p>“No, not anymore.”  He yawned; Sakura caught a glimpse of white fangs as his wide mouth opened and shut with a click of his teeth.  Curiosity prodded her tired mind.  <em>No?  Then does he have a new summons?  Perhaps…</em></p>
<p>“Do you have any other tattoos?”  The words were out of her mouth before she thought about them, and Orochimaru’s low chuckle made her blood pulse in her veins.  “We’ve run out of time for you to explore that question, Sakura-chan.”</p>
<p>She blushed hotly, and she sat up abruptly in the sheets, mussed pink hair flying about her head.  “What time is it?”</p>
<p>Beside her, Orochimaru sat up as well, stretching out his long arms as he shook his black hair; it fell in long lines around his shoulders loosely.  “I would imagine it’s still very early.”</p>
<p>With a curse Sakura threw aside the sheet and jogged into the small side-bathroom, grabbing her discarded clothes as she went.  She dug out her phone once she was in the bathroom and checked.  <em>Oh thank kami it’s only four-thirty.  My shift starts at seven.</em>  She ignored her texts for now as she set aside her phone, looking up into the small bathroom mirror.  “Dammit, Orochimaru,” Sakura muttered as she felt along the marks that trailed along her body, her skin reddening as she now very clearly remembered every moment of the night.  There had been no more moments for talking - engulfing kisses, desirous and pressured touches, heated skin and gasps between them both.  Her body hummed with pleasure at the memories that she fully and completely remembered this time, her mind untainted by alcohol.</p>
<p>Sakura was disgruntled by the reminder that she’d been with Orochimaru sober again as she turned on the showerhead of the small but lavish bathroom, running a hand through her hair as she waited for the water to heat.  If it weren’t for the way she felt physically well-sated along with the soreness, she would call herself clinically insane and check herself into Ino’s office for a thorough head examination.  She half-considered doing that anyway.</p>
<p>As she stepped into the warm water and tugged the curtain over the stall, she heard bare feet pad into the bathroom.  Sakura tried to ignore the question nagging in her head as she rinsed her hair, using the familiar shampoo of his on the shelf; she heard the sink run briefly, and then the bare feet moved across the tile floor quietly as a white hand drew aside the shower curtain, answering her silent thought.</p>
<p>“Hey!” Sakura blushed as Orochimaru stepped into the shower with her, and her wet hands hit lightly on his chest in protest as he closed the curtain again.  He reached over behind her to increase the heat of the water a small increment.  Sakura wanted to shove him back out of the small shower stall, but when his hand landed on her waist and she felt his lips on her neck, she groaned.  “I came in here to get <em>clean</em>…”</p>
<p>As he ignored her words, she felt Orochimaru’s other hand curl around her waist, and Sakura <em>hmm</em>phed as she rinsed her hair and he pressed another biting kiss into her wet skin.  Steam rose between them; her hands moved from her hair to his sides, pressing in gently against his toned skin.  Sakura turned the two of them around in the shower, keeping her eyes away from his lower half as she reached up, her fingers running through his wet hair.  </p>
<p>Pausing in his marking of her throat, Orochimaru tipped his head back to give Sakura a questioning look as she then deposited a squirt of shampoo into his hair from the nearby unmarked bottle.  “You need to get clean too,” she grumbled as she ran her fingers gently over his scalp, lathering his long black hair.  He continued to stare at her in bewilderment, but as her fingers massaged gently, he closed his eyes in a catlike smile at the feeling.  Encouraged, Sakura kept going, thoroughly entreating his long hair to the white foamy lather of lime-eucalyptus shampoo, and she smiled slightly.  “You know… you never did tell me what you do to make your hair so silky.”</p>
<p>“Hmm?” Orochimaru kept his eyes closed to avoid getting the lather in his eyes; Sakura rinsed her hand and wiped the shampoo that had fallen onto his face, and he blinked down at her wearily.  “I just clean it frequently.”</p>
<p>“You don’t use some kind of magical conditioner?”  Sakura pressed him slightly further back into the full stream of the showerhead; she felt his hand rest on her lower back, and she shivered as she began to rinse out the shampoo.  “Truly,” he answered, raising a brow at her frown as she focused on his hair, one hand squeezing out the shampoo lather as she cleaned it out, the citrus scents and steam filling the room.</p>
<p>“Bullshit.”  Sakura narrowed her green eyes at Orochimaru, blinking water droplets from her eyes.  “I don’t believe you one bit.”</p>
<p>He mirrored her expression, golden eyes clashing with green as his hand pressed against her back and drew their fronts together; she ignored the heat within and around them as she maintained her challenging look.  Orochimaru’s voice was slightly cracked with sleep, deeper with a rough edge, and Sakura shivered against him.  “I’ve never used it, Sakura-chan.  You have such a fascination with my hair.”</p>
<p>An idea crossed her mind, and she ignored his ire as her eyes brightened.  “Wait, so if you’ve never used it, what would happen if we did?”  Sakura finished washing the shampoo from his tangled black locks, her hands slipping to rest on his shoulders, and she swallowed as she suddenly realised their water-soaked embrace in the small shower; with a dark grin Orochimaru bent his head closer to her, pressing another kiss to her neck.  “Hey, none of that,” Sakura grumbled, running her hands down his arms, her eyes touching briefly again upon his dark tattoo.  “I’m so sore.”</p>
<p>“It was just a kiss, Sakura-chan.”  His tone deepened with the clear implication that it was going to become so much more, and Sakura pressed her nose into his shoulder with a hiss at the pleasant tingles his lips left in her skin.  “Let me finish getting washed.”</p>
<p>“No.”  He pressed her up against the shower wall, the hot water making their skins steam, and she caught a glimpse of his flashing golden eyes before he kissed her fiercely; she couldn’t help but to wrap her arms tightly around him, one leg dragging up his waist, moaning as one of his hands cupped one of her breasts and the other descended.  She gasped sharply when he slipped a finger into her, teasing her in slow circles, and her moan became a sleep-cracked groan of pleasure; she tipped her head into the crook of his neck as his finger pushed deeper and was joined by his teasing thumb on the sensitive bundle of nerves at her core.  She made pleased, broken croons into his ear as he pleasured her.  </p>
<p>“Bastard,” she murmured as he tortured her slowly, making another throaty sigh as she gripped his shoulders more tightly.  “Ah shit ---” She inhaled sharply as his fingers disappeared, replaced by the head of his erect member, and she pressed her face into his neck with a groan as he now teased her with that instead.  “You talk too much,” Orochimaru murmured into her ear as he slid into her with one harsh buck of his hips; she gasped against his wet skin, scrabbling for a grip on his slippery skin, her thoughts obliterated by the feel of him within her.</p>
<p>“Yeah -- well ---” She shuddered as he withdrew slowly, and he grinned into her ear as he began a slow rhythm, taking her against the shower wall.  Her moans matched his rhythm, deep and sighing; she moved her face back from his neck as he pressed her shoulders to the smooth wall, and they held each other’s eyes while he thrusted.  “--- I’m going to --- test that theory,” Sakura managed.</p>
<p>With an impatient glint of his eyes, Orochimaru dipped down and kissed her again, silencing her as he increased his rhythm from torturous to merciless, supporting her weight against the wall and her moans turning to pleased cries as her words were finally forgotten amidst their shared waves of elation.</p>
<p>It was nearly six before Sakura realized the time and they unentangled as she panicked, pulling on her clothes with red-faced embarrassment while he looked on with a weary but satisfied crooked grin.  Before Sakura moved to leave, she walked up to where he leaned nude by the bathroom doorway.  She was about to reach up to his face, but withdrew to fold her arms instead, giving him a half-hearted glare.  “Try harder for me next time,” she said, “like… dress up, or dinner, or something.  I want you to at least pretend that you care.”</p>
<p>“And you should try to remember that you can't command me around,” he said, looming over her, "as your superior, <em>Lord</em> Orochimaru."</p>
<p>Sakura gave him a grin as the title sounded silly to her now.  “We’ll see if you can ever get me to call you that again, Orochimaru-<em>kun,</em>” she teased, dancing back from his outstretched hand with a blush at the dually playful and foreboding look in his eyes.  Then she turned, leaving the bedroom, his gaze following her as she went.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sakura wasn’t sure if she was ashamed or proud of herself as she slipped out of the cave entrance in the early hours of the morning, her body pleasantly aching.  She adjusted her ruffled clothes as she ran home in the early gray light of the morning before dawn, mind racing.</p>
<p>Persisting through her conflicted thoughts was the hum of her muscles and core, the adrenaline of her early-morning run, and the physically revived feeling she had as she ran, pink hair streaming behind her head.  As she reached her own home bedroom, she tossed aside her dirty clothes and changed into her usual vest and shorts, combing through her hair and preparing for work.  </p>
<p><em>I can’t believe I did all of that,</em> Sakura was thinking as she moved into her bathroom and washed her face with cool water.  She hated the contrasting thoughts and feelings she had as she turned off the tap and dried her hands.  <em>And I didn’t sleep at all.</em></p>
<p>Her skin warmed as she left her bathroom and hurried into the kitchen.  <em>I have time to make coffee before I get to my shift,</em> she thought, <em>I need a kick or I’ll be falling asleep every five minutes.</em>  She was completely exhausted.  It occurred to her that she was impressed someone like him could have such stamina.  Sakura was angry and embarrassed with herself for thinking that as she shoved the pre-ground beans into the coffee maker and measured out several cups of water into its tank.  She hit the <em>brew</em> button a little harder than necessary as she ran healing chakra through her muscles, soothing the ache away.  She knew she’d be walking bow-legged at work without the healing, and her skin flushed deeper red at the repeated reminders of what she - or rather she and Orochimaru - had done.</p>
<p>She found her thoughts sidling past their physical discussions to their verbal one beforehand as she poured the hot brown liquid into a mug and stirred it idly with a spoon, waiting for it to cool.  <em>I’m his first, or so he says.</em>  Sakura was still oddly pleased and disturbed by this discovery, and as she took a slow sip of her drink, she caught herself beginning to debate which thing she should instruct Orochimaru on next for proper courting.  <em>Things you do and do not say</em> and <em>types of appropriate date activities</em> bounced around her head.  </p>
<p>Sakura nearly sputtered out her coffee as she regripped the warm plain ceramic mug.  She zoomed out from her inner discussion to take a hard look at herself.  <em>Just because he’s ignorant about proper dating doesn't mean it’s my responsibility to teach him.  I have no obligations to him.</em></p>
<p>“I’m just using him,” she said aloud, trying to absolutely shatter any illusion of romance from her head, instructive or not.  She was determined for whatever they were doing to remain physical only, and though it left a greasy feeling within her, the thoughts of either of them developing genuine interest in the other beyond pleasure made her feel nauseous with anxiety.  She still didn’t like the feel of those words - <em>using him</em> - but she knew it had to be true.  Her only affiliation with him would be for that, to their mutual pleasure, as long as either of them saw fit.  </p>
<p>Beyond her apprehension, Sakura knew that the enjoyment she had from her adventures so far outweighed her revulsion that they had been with Orochimaru, and they also outweighed her anxiety.  Pleased with this discovery, she took a more generous swallow of her coffee, allowing herself to enjoy the remaining bodily tingle of satisfaction she still felt.  Memories of their dalliance in the shower earlier made her smile slightly, and she noted to herself that she needed to buy hair conditioner the next time she was at the store.</p>
<p>Sakura decided that her sleepiness was worth it as she set down her coffee and pulled on her boots, heading to her shift.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sakura’s debates from earlier resumed as she hugged her clipboard to her chest and moved along down the hall to the break room, and her mind wandered back to Orochimaru as she sipped lukewarm coffee in a paper cup, feeling the pleasant ache in her body remind her of their most recent meeting.  Sakura smiled into her drink as she felt the ghostly cool fingers in her memory trailing down her back, hot breath on her shoulder, warm weight pressing against her front, and her cheeks warmed to a temperature rivalling her coffee as she swallowed and tossed the cup into the recycling bin.  Sakura’s body thrummed with the refreshing spike of caffeine, making up somewhat for her lack of sleep.</p>
<p>She shivered as she tightened her coat around herself.  <em>Next time I’m making him try harder or I’m leaving.  Maybe I’ll teach him how to do this correctly for my own sake, if no one else’s.  None of this zero-expectations-other-than-sex business he spoke of last night.</em>  She didn’t want to admit that she also took an egotistical pleasure in having something to teach the older, more experienced sannin who had a reputation for his hunger to know all that there is to know.</p>
<p>Sakura was disgusted with herself again as she washed her hands in the nearby sink, running a damp hand along her brow.  <em>What am I doing with someone like him?  I’ve fallen far down the hole of loneliness if this is where I’m at, running around in secret with a longtime criminal like Orochimaru.</em></p>
<p>One of the nurses Sakura regularly worked with had joined Sakura in the break room at one point, and had been watching her out of the corner of her eye as she’d wiped away the sleep from the corners of her eyes and adjusted her hair net.  Sakura had felt her stare but had chosen to ignore it; feeling the curious eyes linger on her a moment too long, she looked over at the nurse with a quizzical look.</p>
<p>“Oh, sorry, Haruno-sama.”  The nurse bowed slightly and averted her eyes, long dark hair shifting, and Sakura laughed at the overly respectful title.  “Please.  Just Sakura at least, don’t call me by my last name.  Can I help you with something?”</p>
<p>The nurse shrugged, a small smile on her lips as she turned and poured herself a half-cup of cold coffee.  “No, it’s nothing.”</p>
<p>“Tell me.”  Sakura wasn’t in the mood to be quietly watched and judged, and she folded her arms as the nurse blinked down at her coffee and then sighed.  She turned around and gave Sakura an unexpectedly bright smile.  “I’ve just been noticing that you seem… lighter, lately, Haruno-sama.”</p>
<p>Sakura grimaced at the title, but she was interrupted from correcting her again as the nurse went on.  “Lighter like you’re no longer having dark thoughts.”</p>
<p>She stared at the nurse for a long moment.  The girl’s face went pale, and she pressed a hand to her face as she blushed with embarrassment.  “I--- I’m sorry.  That was inappropriate of me to say.  I---”</p>
<p>“You’re fine.”  Sakura gave a sigh.  “You’re not incorrect.”  She smirked.  “I can respect a woman bold enough to speak her mind.  I’ll forgive it this time.”</p>
<p>“What’s changed?” she pried, her tone soft as she fixed curious wide eyes on Sakura, and Sakura gave her a hardened look; the nurse gulped her coffee and straightened her back.  Sakura felt her pager beep, and she turned from the break room, grateful for the distraction as she hurried down the hall and delved back into her work.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sakura did not expect to find anyone waiting for her when she stepped through the elevator doors several hours later.  She felt a pair of eyes on her immediately, prickling her senses, and Sakura halted just outside the elevators in the hospital lobby as she traced the feeling to a dark-suited stranger across the room.  She narrowed her eyes as her brain clicked trying to recognize him -- he was hazel-eyed, with long auburn hair hanging in ringlets that spilled around his face and over his shoulders.  The dark suit was fitted, expensive, and modern; she could see from here the silky material and trim cuts of the sleeves and slacks.  He watched her with a neutral expression on his face and far too interested eyes that tracked her the moment she had left the elevator.</p>
<p>Sakura swallowed her curiosity and slight unease as she inched toward the nearby reception counter, tilting her head and speaking softly to the young man who sat behind the desk.  “Who’s that?”</p>
<p>“Dunno,” the receptionist replied, bored dark eyes flicking between Sakura and the handsome stranger awaiting her by the doors.  “He just showed up a few minutes ago.  Didn’t come up to reception or anything yet.”</p>
<p>Sakura’s skin prickled from the stranger’s stare, and she felt annoyance bubbling up within her.  She didn’t have any outstanding meetings that she knew of, and she didn’t like unexpected drop-ins from people she didn’t know at the end of her shift late in the evening.  She was lacking sleep and was exhausted both from Orochimaru and from working another fourteen hours afterward.  Sakura turned tired eyes back to the stranger.  By the way he watched her, she had no doubt that he was here for her, and she wasn’t sure if she was flattered or disgusted by the way that she felt his eyes drag up and down her form as she approached him.</p>
<p>Sakura felt conspicuously underdressed as she walked toward the stranger, wearing her usual red vest and shorts and carrying her dirty coat and scrubs in one arm.  Sakura’s mouth went dry as the stranger stood up from where he had been leaning on the wall and offered her his arm, flashing her a pale-lipped smirk.</p>
<p>“Do I… do I know you?”  She folded her arms tightly over her chest, eyeing his extended dark-sleeved arm suspiciously.</p>
<p>He leaned toward her, white teeth and wide hazel eyes flashing beneath slender auburn brows.  “Come, let me escort you home.”  His medium, smooth voice clanked in her mind oddly, and her eyes trailed over his red-gold mane of hair curiously.  The man was young and attractive; he had an air of power and authority, and rumors about him and Sakura leaving the hospital together would circulate the staff in undoubtedly embellished rumors for weeks after tonight.  She wasn’t sure if she entirely minded, but she didn’t trust his confidence, and Sakura narrowed her green eyes up at him.  “Tell me who you are first.”</p>
<p>The stranger quirked a slender brow at her.  “You don’t recognize me at all?”</p>
<p>“You… you’re <em>vaguely</em> familiar.”  Sakura frowned.  It was true; there was a hint about his face and stature that she had seen him or known him somehow before, and it bothered her instincts like an unscratchable itch.  “Am I supposed to know you?”</p>
<p>He leaned down and took her arm anyway, his long auburn ringlets glinting in the fluorescent lobby lights as he drew close enough to murmur against her ear, his gaze glittering as he watched her face.  “You called me <em>golden thing</em> at one point.”</p>
<p>Sakura’s gasp was tangled with his chuckle as they walked out through the hospital’s double-doors, and Sakura gripped his arm tightly as they moved out of her coworker’s earshot and into the night air.  She swerved to face him, letting him go and putting her hands on her hips.  “What the <em>hell</em>!”</p>
<p>He grinned at her, and Sakura’s ears tingled as his voice lowered into his normal silky timbre.  “Figured I would show you how to do henge disguises correctly.”</p>
<p>Sakura huffed, reddening.  “Jerk.”  She pouted at him, her eyes dragging up and down his body.  “What’s with the suit…?”</p>
<p>He raised his dark brows, his whiskey-colored irises glinting as they melted into illuminated gold, and Sakura snatched his arm as she dragged him away into the dark and completely out of the hospital windows’ view.  “If they recognize you I am done for,” she hissed as they walked, their figures painted silver in the moonlight.  </p>
<p>Sakura tried not to stare openly at the way the suit clung to his slender form as Orochimaru finished releasing the henge, the auburn ringlets of his mane uncurling and darkening into arrow-straight black locks that fell around his shadowed face.</p>
<p>“You need to improve your lying skills then,” he replied casually, allowing her to keep his arm while his other hand slipped into his coat pocket.  Sakura’s gaze magnetized back to the fitted suit.  It was nice, it was expensive; her eyes lingered on the smooth and slightly glossy razor-sharp lapels, the simple silver cufflinks, the neatly pressed slacks.  It was something one would wear to an upscale wedding or formal party rather than to pick someone up from the hospital lobby.  Sakura felt sweat dampening the back of her neck as she narrowed her eyes and returned her attention to Orochimaru’s face.  He was smirking; he hadn’t missed the way she was giving him several thorough once-overs.  “I can tell that you like what I’m wearing, at least.”</p>
<p>Sakura bit her lip.  “It’s a bit much.”</p>
<p>He shrugged, the coat shifting around his slender shoulders.  “Does it help your expectations?”</p>
<p>Something in Sakura’s responding smile made Orochimaru’s golden eyes widen, slitted pupils dilating and catching the light.  She blinked at him, memories of their rendezvous the night before warming her stomach as she enjoyed what he was wearing.  <em>Damn him… he made an effort this time… and so soon.  Arguably too soon, I’ll have to tell him about giving me some time to breathe.</em>  Sakura was furious at herself for her instinctive heated reaction to his well-dressed appearance, annoyed that her usual natural revulsion toward Orochimaru had slipped in favor of magnetized appreciation of his formal, businesslike look.  <em>Kami but that suit is an aphrodisiac.</em></p>
<p>“Tonight again?”  Sakura addressed the silent question between them as she shifted in her sweaty clothes; her eyes flicked down his suit and back to his pale face under his dark hair, pink tinting Sakura’s cheeks as her body thrummed in weary but eager anticipation.  “Aren’t you <em>tired?</em>”</p>
<p>“I’ll take that as a yes to my question,” Orochimaru hissed as he pulled her toward him, and Sakura shuddered as his hand slipped up along her neck and angled along her cheek.  His dark hair fell in straight black lines around her as their noses brushed, and she was transfixed by his unwavering stare as his grin hovered over her slightly parted lips.  “Are you going to invite me in?”</p>
<p>Sakura realized with a jolt that they had reached the outside of her apartment complex, and with a deep flush of heat Sakura turned from him and pushed open the doors to the small building.  She heard him follow behind her, dark polished shoes clicking on the hard floors, and her heart beat angrily against her chest as he followed her through the empty lobby into the elevator.  He joined her as the door slowly closed, the dim yellow lights flickering on his dark clothes, and Sakura wasted no more time as she pulled his face back down to her, tasting his lips.  Orochimaru <em>mmm</em>ed into her kiss as the doors dinged and reopened; she tugged him down the hall to her apartment, not bothering to unmeld their faces as she unlocked the door with practiced hands behind her.  She pulled him into the dark of her home and wrapped her arms around his neck as he pushed them through toward her bedroom.  She fell back on the bed and watched as he shrugged off his dress clothes in the blackness.  “Be nice to those,” Sakura murmured as he continued to peel off layers, “I want to see those on you again.  And… you don’t need to dress up that much for me…”</p>
<p>Orochimaru’s chuckle rumbled deep through her as he leaned over her then, pale body gleaming in the slight light of the dark windows, and Sakura surrendered to him as they curled into the sheets.</p>
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